


Your Savior is Here!

by Missnkm



Category: The Boys (TV 2019), The Boys - Fandom
Genre: Daddy Kink, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, F/M, Not you Homelander, Someone Help Her, Stockholm Syndrome, forced age play, homelander is crazy, starlight, the others will come in eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-14 10:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20599064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missnkm/pseuds/Missnkm
Summary: Natasha was fine where she was, squatting in an abandoned building, barely sobering up from drugs and living day to day. She does not want anyone to save her, but the most unlikely hero does not care what she wants.Homelander has been lied to by the person he depended on most and is more alone than he has ever been. Everyone is trying to control him and in a unhealthy attempt to reclaim a small amount of control he decides to go against orders and help a random girl, but she doesn’t want him to. Too bad for her, he does not care.Or Homelander picks up a random homeless girl and brings her home to make up for the things he lost. And finds out he’s over his mommy kink but may have developed a daddy kinkSpoilers for the boys if you haven’t finished the season! In this Homelander doesn’t kill Madelyn and Becca and the baby actually did die.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you like it.....

“Please don’t! We’re sorry! Please! I have a family!” Someone is begging. Then someone is screaming before going silent. It barely registers in my head in my sleepy haze but my body is already moving. I stumble to stand, needing to find a hiding place or an easy exit. The voice was slightly muffled, they must be in another room. As I get my bearings I look out the window for a swat van or a suspicious amount of black SUVs but find nothing other than the usual few cars that belong to the dealers that have been messing around on the lower floor of the abandoned building I’ve been squatting in.  
Another voice, this one coming from the stairway to my left, sends a shiver down my spine, “Maybe you should have thought of your family before you joined this little ‘gang’.” I can imagine the creepy grin on his face as he speaks.  
Homelander. That’s just fucking great.  
Supes are nothing but fucking trouble. What the hell have those guys been doing to gain his attention? It’s none of my fucking business but I need to get the fuck out of here. The last thing I need to be is on a supes raider, I’ve got enough things going on. I glance down the stair way, hoping and praying that they would be far enough away I could at least go down to the first floor. I find a man, pressed against the wall at the bottom of the staircase, Homelander is holding him by the throat with that fucking smirk that is plastered everywhere. Not a single thing is out of place on him, his blond hair is combed out of his face, his uniform is as neat as could be. He looks like the perfect super hero. The body sliced to pieces on the stairs tells a different story.  
“Please don’t do this! I won’t tell anyone about this! I swear!” The Latin man against the wall pleads helplessly, just like the other man had done. I’m sure it will work out just as well, I roll my eyes.  
I walk back to the window, sure I would be fine if I jumped but I would also catch the man is stars’ attention. Fuck. I might as well just wait it out and hope he doesn’t search the place. On quiet feet, I make my way back to my makeshift tent and hide inside. I sit up against the wall, pulling my ratty blanket over me I close my eyes and pretend to sleep. The whole time the man is begging for his pathetic life until suddenly he just stops.  
Homelander sighs, “If I let you go will you become a better person? Will you leave this kind of life behind and focus on your relationship with God and your family?”  
“Yes! I promise I will!” The man responds immediately.  
“Okay than, I’ll give you one more chance at life. You are free to go.”  
Then there a rushed foot steps retreating away from the stairs followed quickly by a wet thunk and a shrill scream. Yea, that went well.  
I sigh. He should have known not to trust a supe. I sit and wait.  
The tarp hiding me is suddenly ripped away and I am face to face with that fucking smirk. I don’t know what he was expecting to be hiding here but from the way his brows raise, I’m assuming he didn’t think it would be me. He stares, eyes scanning over me and the shit surrounding me before landing on my face. I know I look disgusting and probably don’t smell the greatest but the way his nose crinkles is just rude. He looks upset the more he stares, his face scrunches and his mouth curves into a tight frown. That is until he realizes I’m staring back, all emotion seems to fall away, leaving just his perfect fucking face.  
I’m not scared. I’m annoyed more than anything that my nap had been interrupted, I raise my brows back at him, “Can I help you?”  
He chuckles casually, “Not the usual reaction I get. I’m here cleaning up the cartel that has been running drugs through this building. Are you involved with them?”  
“Nope. Do I look like a fucking gang member?”  
“You look like a fucking junky.”  
I sneer at him as I attempt to calm the massive mess of curls on my head, “well you aren’t wrong. I was.”  
“Let me guess, you are clean and trying to get back on your feet.”  
“Clean? Yes. But I ain’t getting back on my feet, I’m just fine where I am. Now if you could throw that back on so can I can get back to my nap, that would be great.”  
“Trash like you disgusts me. You homeless are just pathetic.” Those perfect blue eyes just stare at me, so cold for a hero.  
I roll my eyes at him, “Do I have to listen to you insult me or can I fall back asleep while you are talking?”  
“And you are fucking rude at that.”  
“Am I supposed to be praising you right now? Bowing down? You murdered a bunch of criminals, great job! Happy?”  
His chest puffs up, his lip curls up into a snarl, “You should be begging for your pathetic life!”  
“That worked out great for those guys downstairs and considering how you’ve been looking at me I’m assuming I’d have even worse chances. If I’m such an eyesore just fucking kill me.”  
His eyes start to glow a warning red, “Do you have a death wish?”  
“No!” I snap, “I just want to go back to sleep but you felt the need to be all high and mighty and destroy my tent!” He huffs and mumbles under his breath as he struggles to explain himself.  
“You saw me down stairs!” He accuses, “I heard you moving around.”  
“Yes, cause I thought you were the Feds or something. Why does I matter that I saw you? Don’t you want people to see you being a hero?”  
Homelander stiffens a bit.  
I raise a brow at him, “Unless you aren’t supposed to be here? Is America’s greatest hero becoming a vigilante?” The irritation on his face has me chuckling. “You are! I’m not judging, just surprised that Vought is letting it slide but whatever, it isn’t my business. I won’t tell anyone if that is what you are worried about.”  
“How could I believe a single word out of your mouth? You are a dirty, probably on some kind of drugs, fucking rude, and completely helpless.”  
“Fuck off! If you need to take care of loose ends just do it. But if you are just going to continue to judge me and stare we are done here.” I rip the tarp out of his hand and half assly fix my tent before curling up underneath, fully expecting him to laser me to pieces too. But he doesn’t. When a few minutes pass of nothing but silence I open my eyes. He’s gone.  
…..  
Homelander’s POV  
“Where have you been?” Madelyn snaps the moment she sees me, clicking her way down the hall after me. “I have been looking for you everywhere!”  
I roll my eyes as I turn to face her, “I was out patrolling.” She stops in front of me with a exaggerated sigh as if I made her run to reach me when we both know I was the jumping through hoops for years for this old blonde witch.  
I want to bang my head against the wall for being such an idiot for her. After years of her manipulation, her sweet words and gentle touches, I was able to break away after her lies came crumbling down around her. After I found out that they had killed the woman who was carrying my child they have the balls to pretend that nothing happened and continued on with business as usual. As if I’m not a person with feelings, I never thought I would want child but knowing it was going to happen only to find out I didn’t have a choice in the matter.  
Madelyn places a hand on my trembling arm, I pull away, the look on her face is more than a little surprised, “Is everything okay?”  
I laugh, forcing myself to smile, “I’m fine! I’m just tired of the lies that pour out of your mouth. So, if you don’t mind I have things to do and people to save.” It takes all of myself control not to rip her to pieces when she reaches for me again.  
“You don’t actually. I cleared your schedule for the next few days, you had a stressful week and I think it would be best if you stayed quiet for a little while.”  
“Excuse me?” I scoff, “I’m fucking Homelander! You can’t ground me.”  
She puts her hands on her hips and gives me this look, “You need to focus on yourself. Go for a quick trip somewhere, stay in and catch up on TV, get a fucking pet! I don’t care, just do not cause trouble. I know you are upset about the baby but I need you to listen and,” she pauses as she glances up and down the empty hall before coming into my space, “and to be good for me. Can you be good for me like you used to?” Her hand caress my cheek like she’s done a million times before, though this time it lacks the same warmth, if there was ever any warmth to begin with.  
“Fuck off.” I spit the words into her ear with a smile, enjoying the pissed off look on her face when I pull away.  
The witch huffs, “I swear Homelander, no trouble!”  
“I already got into a bit this morning.”  
“What did you do?”  
I shrug, “Destroyed millions of dollars worth of coke and killed a few cartel members, no big deal.”  
“Did anyone see you while you were out saving the world?”  
“Some junky but that’s it.” I do my best to sound casual about, as if that junkie’s green eyes aren’t engraved into my brain. Before this harpy pulled me out of my own head that junkie has been on my mind. Her ‘fuck off’ attitude was refreshing compared to every single person who is either blinded by my achievements or too terrified to do anything but smile. I’ve been fighting the urge to go find her again just to talk to someone who doesn’t want something from me. A fucking selfie or for me to behave. She just wanted me to leave.  
I find myself smirking at the memory of her harsh words, our playful banter has been on repeat in my head. That along with her matter curls, dirty skin, and ratty clothes. She could have asked for money after what she saw but she didn’t she just wanted to sleep. She looked so tired so I let her continue with her nap as if there aren’t half a dozen bodies the floor below her. She looked so helpless, I’m sure she has no where else to go. No one to take care of her. I feel a unfamiliar pang of guilt in my chest that I left such a mess there. Even in the cold weather of the late fall it shouldn’t take long for that stuff to start smelling. Where will she go then? How will I be able to find her is she moves? That is if she hasn’t moved already.  
“Homelander!” Madelyn screeches, I look down at her with my brows raised. “Have you been listening to me at all? You need to find that junkie and take care of them! I’m going to call a few people, get the media and swat there. We’ll say you had to leave the scene to chase another lead but that person can’t be interviewed. We don’t need them saying you were on a rampage just out of spite.”  
“You want me to take care of her?” I repeat, nodding at the idea. I mean the girl obviously needs someone to do it, she can’t. I don’t fully understand my sudden interest in a normal person but for the first time in a long time I want something other than to impress this woman next to me. I nod again, “I’ll take care of her. I just need to grab a few things first and then I will!”  
She says something else but I’m already rushing down the hall in search of some intern. I find one two floors down and shaking in their boots at the sight of me. By that time I have a list in my head of things I should need to do the job right. I ramble off what I need, tell them to charge it on some expense account and head off to find this girl, my girl.  
There are police on the scene, the media is rambling off behind the yellow tape around the building. I sneak through the back side of the second floor away from the cameras and weave my way around the floor to where the girl was hiding last time. Her tent is ripped down. There is the same garage on the floor but a water bottle, the blanket and the tarp are missing which means she packed her stuff up and ran.  
Fuck!  
There is still a chance the police found her too. I rush out the way I came in to do my usual dramatic entrance on the street. I wave to the usual on lookers before finding the closest police officer who didn’t look like a fucking dumbass.  
“Homelander!” The officer greets enthusiastically, beaming at me through all of this gear. “Did your lead get you any extra information?”  
I nod, “Yes sir. Thank you so much for your work. I passed that information up to my headquarters so they should be getting it to you soon. I just have a question for you, did you happen to have seen a young homeless woman around here? I saw her earlier and did not get the chance to make sure she was okay.”  
“Yes! We interviewed her and she said she slept through it all. She didn’t even know you were here!” He chuckles.  
I nod casually, doing my best to pretend that panic is bubbling uncomfortably under my skin. “Do you still have her in custody?”  
“No, they released her.”  
“You guys continue your good work, I’m going to do a quick check over the area to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”  
We salute each other before I take off into the sky in search of my girl. I get above most of the buildings, using my X-ray vision I scan over the area nearby, spotting a few homeless people here and there. My girl is tucked behind a dumpster half a block down. I’m less dramatic with this landing, doing my best to go unnoticed so she can’t run, not that I couldn’t catch her. She is sleeping again, curled up tight using both her blanket and tarp to cover her.  
Poor thing.  
I crouch down in front of her. She’s much prettier up close. I can’t wait to have her all cleaned up so I can see her in her fully glory.  
“Are you back to insult me?” She hums without even opening her eyes.  
I smile at her teasing tone, “How did you know it was me?”  
Her golden green eyes open to me, glimmering beautifully in the natural light. “I didn’t tell the police if that’s why you are back.”  
“I know. Why didn’t you?”  
“It’s none of my business.”  
“You are such a good girl,” I beam at her. “But I almost couldn’t find you, why did you move?”  
“Because the police came busting in and kicked me out.”  
“It’s fine, I found you anyway! Now let’s go.”  
She raises a brow at me, “Go where?”  
“With me. I’m going to take care of you.”  
“Can’t you just do it here? I mean I guess it wouldn’t look good for the police to find me dead nearby when you already asked about me.”  
I can’t help but chuckle, “I’m not going to kill you silly girl. I’m taking you back to Vought to take care of you, feed you and bathe you and all that Jazz.”  
“Why?” She questions, more hesitant about me taking care of than killing her. It makes sense I guess, she’s obviously never had someone take care of her and since she wasn’t lucky enough to be chosen like me, no one cared to even look at her. I will take care of her better than any normal person could, I’m Homelander! I can give her all the things I never had, all the things I can never give my child, this girl can have it all. The structure, love and affection we all deserved but never received. And it will be genuine, unlike that shit Madelyn gave me.  
“Because! Now get up,” I offer her my hand but she refuses to take it.  
Her glare is set, “Fuck off.”  
I resist the urge to just grab her, this is a perfect time to show her some tough love. “Very funny but enough of the swearing. The attitude is fine for now but the swearing has got to go.”  
She just scoffs as she gathers her things and stand up, but instead of stepping into my arms she heads farther into the alley.  
“Where do you think you are going?”  
“Away from you!”  
I shake my head at her, “I’m giving you to the count of 5 to come back here and apologize.”  
She stops, “or what? Are you going to threaten to kill me again? I’m not scared of you.”  
“Oh sweet girl, there are a lot of bad things I can do to you without killing you,” I give her my best smile. “Like for each second you make me wait past the five, I will break one finger. It’s really cute that you think you have an option with this, and you kind of do I guess. You can do this the hard way or the easy way.’’ She just stares at me dumbstruck, god her eyes are just so beautiful. The dark circles around them are less charming, we will have to work on those. But first I need to get her back to my apartment at Vought.  
She takes one step backwards, her eyes on me to see if I notice.  
“One,” I start.  
“This is a fucking joke right?”  
“Drop the swearing and I would like an apology for the attitude. Two.”  
To my surprise she stomps her foot like an actual child, “why should I go anywhere with you?”  
“Three.”  
“Stop!” Her internal battle is obvious on her face.  
“Four.”  
“I’m sorry!” She blurts out.  
I smile , “Come here and apologize like you actually mean it.”  
She listens. In her dirty boots shuffle towards me, her head hanging low with shame. With her in front of me I can barely breath, the helpless thing is at my chest. She looks up at me with those bright green eyes, “I’m sorry for the attitude.”  
My heart is racing.  
There is fire dancing behind her eyes, she’s a strong one for a normal human. But I can’t let her know how just a little look can effect me, I need to keep a brave face.  
“Lets go.”  
She continues to stare at me expectantly.  
“Oh yes, come here,” I open my arms to her.  
The girl blanches, “We are flying?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: this chapter contains suicidal thoughts and just mentions of rape and torture. This whole story is noncon but nothing sexual yet.
> 
> Please let me know how your guys like it!

Natasha POV  
“Holy fucking shit!” I’m holding on with dear life from the moment of take off and even with his arms wrapped around me I don’t feel safe. I feel as if he goes out of his way to dodge last minute to make me clutch on to him tighter, that he enjoys the little bit of fear he insights in me. I close my eyes and press my face deep into his chest, hoping if I act scared enough he will give me a small amount of mercy. It seems to work, he slows down a bit and we suddenly arrive at Vought, landing oh so gently on a large balcony near the highest parts of the tower. I don’t let go right away and he doesn’t either, my arms are too tense to relax but he doesn’t seem to mind.  
He carries me inside princes style, making sure to activate the electric lock when the door slides close behind us, he swivels around in circles for a moment once we are inside. With one arm still around me he pulls my bag away from me to get to my tarp which he lays over a large chair in a small living room.  
“Are okay sweet girl?” He hums in a surprisingly soft voice. His other hand comes back, this time to rest on my back where it begins drawing small circles there. “Would you be okay if I set you down? Your legs are trembling so I don’t think you’d be okay on your own.”  
I want to yell at him that I’m fine but I just nod, not wanting to bring out his psychotic side if he wants to be this nice now. He sets me down gently, as if he is worried I might break. I pull my arms away once I know I won’t hit the ground, this is embarrassing enough.   
“I’m going to go start a bath for you, okay? Will you be okay by yourself? No one can get in here so you’ll be completely safe,” Even with his kind tone and soft eyes, I know what he is really saying. Can I trust you not to make a run for it? You can’t get out anyway.  
“Where are we?” I wonder, though a quick glance around makes it obvious.   
“We are home! I’ll give you a full tour after you are all clean.”  
There is a knock on the door across the apartment. His happy face falls for just a moment, his hard gaze is a silent warning to keep my mouth shut. I’m not an idiot, unless it is Queen Maze on the other side of that door, no one can help me. He turns and strides across the apartment to the front door, leaving me in the bedroom area. I curl in on myself in the large chair, with it already facing away from the door, I’m hidden from anyone coming in. Out in front of me is a better view of the city than I ever thought I would see.   
Behind me there is a large, California king bed with dark blue bedding, on the other side of it are open double doors that lead to a black marble bathroom. There is a room divider separating the living room and the bedroom made of horizontal slats, almost like floor to ceiling wooden blinds. Through them I can see a bit into the kitchen and entryway.  
Homelander is at the door talking to someone. I shift forward slightly hoping to peek at who could be there but Homelander’s large frame is taking up the door way. Relaxing back into my seat I stare out the window again, the idea briefly pops into my head to make a run for the balcony. That is just as quickly denied. If there is even a chance that I could break the two inch thick glass in between me and that edge and jump over, Homelander could follow me over and catch me before I even hit the ground. Getting me on his shit list for not even a guarantee of death. No thanks. I should see what my chances are here first.   
I’m so lost in my head I don’t even notice him approaching me again, a small smile on his face. He crouches down next to my chair, “If you could have any meal in the world right now, what would it be?”  
To say that question didn’t surprise me, would be the biggest lie I ever told. “Um… I don’t really care, anything is fine.”  
“I’m sorry, the kitchen is all out of anything,” His tone isn’t confident, the delivery wasn’t the greatest but that was a fucking dad joke.  
“Chicken noodle soup,” I blurt out, unsure of what could settle in my stomach after not eating in so long.   
“That’s it?”  
I nod.  
“Anything to drink?”  
“A coke?”  
He shakes his head, “No caffeine. How about a sprite?”  
“That works too,” I hesitate the next words out of my mouth but I’m sure he would want to hear it, “Thank you.”  
Homelander is grinning ear to ear, “Such good manners! I knew you had them!”  
Fucking prick.  
He is off again, back at the door to finish up his conversation. A few minutes later he comes back with bags in his hands but heads straight to the bathroom, so I wait. The bath is running and the bags are crinkling. I’m sweating now. What the fuck is he planning on doing? His promise of bad things he could do without killing me comes into my head again and suddenly panic is setting in and the idea of jumping out of the window seems like a good idea. Death I’m not afraid of, but rape and torture, has me shaking.   
Fuck!  
“Woah, woah, woah, what’s getting you all riled up little one?” He coos as he returns from the bathroom.   
Of course, mother fucker has super hearing doesn’t he?  
Homelander comes around the chair and uses a red gloves hand to brush a few curls out of my face, “Your heart is beating like a rabbits. Tell me, what’s wrong?”  
“What are you going to do to me?” I ask in a surprisingly strong voice.  
“I’m running a bath so we can get you all cleaned up? Do you not like baths?”  
I consider lying and saying yes, I’m terrified of baths and I could pray to someone that he would just let me take a shower myself. But lying to the most powerful man in the world seems like a bad idea so I don’t.  
“I don’t feel comfortable with you seeing me naked.”  
He laughs, “Don’t you worry sweet girl! I already thought of that!” With ease, he scoops me up, tarp and all, and carries me to the bathroom where I find the bathtub partially full, piles of bubbles on top of the water. “The bubbles will hide your modesty the first few times until you feel comfortable.”  
“That doesn’t make me feel any better. I would be much more comfortable taking a bath by myself, please?” I throw in the polite tone and the please for even the smallest chance he might agree.  
“And I would be much more comfortable sitting next to the tub to make sure you aren’t causing any trouble. Who do you think has more say here?”   
Even with his sweet tone I gulp, “You do.”  
“So smart. Now I’m going to set you down, will you be okay to stand on your own?”  
I nod.  
He sets me down on my own two feet, “Now since you were honest with me about how you felt, I will turn around so you can get into the bath, okay? But I don’t want to hear any funny business, and I hope you know, I can hear everything.”  
“Yes.”  
With that settled he turns around in the door way so he is facing the bedroom. I hesitate there, my eyes scanning over my new surroundings for the off chance there is a better escape option but once again, other than killing myself, I’m shit out of luck. The white marble floor is cold beneath my feet, contrasting from the warmth of the living space. My eyes scan up the high walls that are covered in black marble, the same white and black contrast goes through out the whole bathroom from the white sink and its’ black base to the massive white tub to the black glass shower. I can’t help but stare in awe at such a large bathroom. The water is almost full in the tub, I step up on to the platform it’s on to test the water. It’s warm against my hand. The plastic bags he had been carrying are lying next to the tub, A part of me wants to peak but he would hear the bag.  
“Are you getting in?” He wonders with his back towards me. “I’m counting to five before I just do it myself.”  
I panic.  
“One.”  
I scramble to get my clothes off and throw them into a hazardous pile on the floor.  
“Two. Three.”  
I’m dipping my foot in, making sure to make an extra splash for him to hear.  
“Are you in?”  
When I am fully submerged up to my collar bone I sigh, “Yes.”  
“Good!” He spins around and comes to join me by taking seat on the edge of the platform. He makes himself comfortable, arm resting on the ledge, chin resting on his arm as if we are lovers enjoying a nice night. In the bath I am able to sit with my legs fully stretched out and my back resting along the curve of the tub wall. It’s a comfortable place to be, minus the psycho in a costume who is just staring at me. His head cocks to the side as he stares.  
“What?” I wonder as I try to figure out what has his attention so fixed.  
He sighs, “Nothing, I just enjoy looking at you.”  
“Why?”  
“Because you are just so nice to look at. I’m not usually a fan of people like you and the last plain person I,” He hesitates, “That I, um, thought was interesting looked nothing like you.”  
I raise a brow at that, “Do you often pick up women and do this to them?”  
“No! You are the first women to come this far into my home.”  
“What made me so special?” I mean it as a joke, I’m not special, I’m sure I’m just the next victim on his list. He doesn’t take it as a joke, his eyes shift into something so much more serious than he has been this whole time.  
“Everyone else wants something from me. You saw me and didn’t ask for anything even when you needed help as a homeless person on the street but you didn’t expect anything from me. You told me to fuck off. People here are so fucking greedy, it’s disgusting. Just fat old pigs and hags who want me to do nothing but stand there and smile while they keep making more and more useless money. People on the street just want me so they can take pictures for fucking twitter or instagram, they want to be saved so they can tell everyone. But you, you need me to save you. You need someone to look after you and protect you, and make sure you get enough sleep, and enough food. I don’t want to save those fuckers out there, the only person I want to save is you.”  
Oh fucking shit, he’s crazier that I thought. This guy thinks he’s some almighty god that everyone wants, but the more I actually think about it he is right. He is Homelander, America’s greatest hero! And also a closeted sociopath. Just fucking great.   
He places a hand on my cheek, “You are the one good thing I have in my life now.”  
I can’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth, “You don’t even know who I am. Like you haven’t even asked me my name or how I ended up on the street. I’m a terrible person, I’ve done some crazy stuff for drugs, does that not disgust you?”  
“I’m so sorry, please, sweet girl, what is your name?”  
“Natasha…”  
Homelander just beams at me, “That’s a beautiful name. Look Natasha, from how you respond to me I know you know that I’m not the great person in the world, strongest, without a doubt but I have let a lot of people die and killed a lot of people without any regret so you don’t have to worry about me judging you for things you have done in the past. As long as you are honest with me, we won’t have any troubles!” He pats me cheek gently before moving to grab stuff from the bag, he pulls out some kind of shampoo and conditioner for curly hair and a men’s body wash. “I’m not sure if these will work for you, I ordered these for you from just what I could remember of you from a few hours ago. This is mine, I considered getting you some of the normal women’s soaps but they just smell terrible so you can just smell like me.”  
Without missing a beat he removes his gloves and pulls up the sleeves of his uniform. A rag appears in his hand next, I curl in on myself, my skin crawls at the idea of him scrubbing me down. He is quick to notice my distress and does his best to calm me.  
“Since it’s your first bath time, I’ll let you clean yourself under the water but I get to help with your arms and your back. And there will be no ifs, ands or buts about me washing your hair, understand?”  
I just nod. There isn’t really any room for argument with him.   
“You know you are allowed to talk,” He points out as he squirts some of the body wash on to the wet rag and lathers it up before hold out his hand expectantly for my arm. I give it to him.   
“I know. I just don’t know what to say,” I admit, looking away from the solid grip he has on my limb. I wait for pain or something but his touch is gentle, firm but he rubs the soap over my skin with just enough force to get the grime off my skin.  
“We can talk about whatever you want.”  
“Can I ask what you are going to do to me?”  
He chuckles, “Of course, but I already told you. I’m going to take care of you. Today after your bath, I’m going to get you dressed, you are going to have a late lunch and then you are going to take a quick nap. After your nap we are going to talk about you and what you like so I can send that intern to get a few more things for you and by that time it will be dinner and bedtime.”  
I hum, thinking his words over, he’s treating me like a child. Don’t tell me he has some daddy kink he needs to work out. I’ve had enough shit in my life from my actual dad, I don’t need this traumatic shit on top of it. I consider just asking to leave but I know that won’t fucking work. I just watch him as he happily works on my other arm now, the clean part of my skin are slightly pink from the amount of scrubbing needed but it is nice to see my natural brown complexion without any dirt on it. My skin has gotten much darker than my natural light brown skin tone from months of sitting in the summer sun.   
Homelander seems happy too. He marvels at my clean arms for a few moments before asking me to turn away from him so he can clean my upper back.  
“You are so thin,” He states as his fingers run along the top of my spine until his finger hits the water.   
“That’s what happens when you live on the street for as long as I have.”  
He’s silent for a moment.  
“Well never again.”  
I scoff, “Are you really going to keep me forever?”  
“That’s the plan.”  
“What if I misbehave?” I look over my shoulder at him when his response isn’t as instances, he’s just staring again.  
For the third time, he pets my head, “I will discipline you accordingly. But only if you misbehave.”  
“Will you kill me?”  
“If I wanted to kill you, I would have left your body parts in the pile I left of those drug dealers.”  
I nod, taking that as my cue to shut my mouth.   
He continues with his work, setting the rag aside to reach for the shampoo. “Lay back and get your hair wet.”   
I sink deeper into the warm water, tipping my head back so my curls can have a much needed cleaning. With my head dipped back into the water I feel myself disconnecting with the world and allowing myself to some what relax. After a few measured breaths I sit back up, he’s staring again as if in a trance. My fingers do a half assed attempt at running my hands through my curls, there are too many knots for me to do it successfully.  
“Do you have a brush?” I ask hopefully.  
Silently he digs through the bag and holds a regular hair brush out to me. I take it and grit my teeth as I begin raking the thing through my hair, brushing out wads of dead hair and knots. It takes me at least five minutes to get through it all and by the ends my arms are hurting, Homelander hasn’t been able to look away.   
“I would really like to help you next time,” He informs me as he takes the brush away.  
I nod, “It will be a lot easier next time, it’s been at least half a year since I last brushed my hair, I just thankful I don’t have to shave it again. The tiny Afro I had was nice for the summer but my hair brings me a lot of warmth in the winter.”  
“How long were you living on the street?”  
“About six years now.”  
“Why so long? Didn’t you ever consider getting a job so you could get off the street?”  
“By the time I was old enough to get a job I was already so used to where I was that I didn’t really see the need to change anything. I was high all the time and didn’t mind sleeping with a trap and a blanket in a random alley.”  
He moves to stand behind me, his hands lathered with vanilla scented shampoo, his long fingers just tangle into my curls at the root and slowly work their way to the ends that stop a few inches down my back. “You have such pretty curls.”  
All I can do is say, “Thank you.”  
“You can dip your head back.”  
I do.  
When I come back up he already had the conditioner in his hands, he repeats the same process as before. It’s not as weird as I thought it would be, sure I’m still anxious and naked in a bath tub with some low key daddy kink supe, but when Iook at him he’s not staring into the water to catch a peek, he’s staring at my face or my hair. Weird, but not absolutely terrible just yet. We let the conditioner sit for a few moments as I drag my hands through the bubble, picking up a handful like I see in movies and blowing them away like flower petals. It’s much less glamorous than in the movies but it’s still funny, Homelander finds it adorable and does it back to me.  
I dip my head back in.   
“Okay, now just as promised I am going to let you wash the rest of yourself. Since you are feeling bashful I’ll give you five minutes to enjoy bath time by yourself. I’m going to be in the living room, I’ll let you know when your time is up. I’ll bring you a towel and some clean clothes, okay?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good girl.”   
I bite my tongue.   
He stands up, handing me the rag and the body wash before heading into the bedrooms to do god knows what. When I know he is out of site I take the body wash and scrub the rest of myself clean for the first time in forever. It only takes a minute to clean myself up, I use the rest of my time to float in that surreal place in the water. I let myself tip back and actually enjoy my time in the water, my ears plug, my body warm, and my eyes closed. I could stay here forever but I know it won’t last, I have at most another minute before he comes in to tell me my time is done. He will come back up, I’ll listen to whatever he says and he will call me a good girl again.  
“Fucking prick,” I mumble softly under my breath.


	3. A Lesson Learned

Homelander POV  
I’m only a wall away and I’m already nervous. I’m watching her through the wall, making sure she doesn’t cause any trouble. She doesn’t, she just sits back in and relaxes deeper into the water, her face falling into a soft blank expression. Sweet little thing, I don’t know how long I will be able to control myself around her. She’s just so perfect. After her hair had been washed those matted wads had turned into perfect ringlets. I ran my fingers through them and nearly came in my pants at the sweet hums she was unconsciously making. I wanted nothing more than to sit there all day and play with her hair, maybe we can do that another day.   
I force myself to look away and down at the note pad in front of me where I’ve been scribbling rules down for her. She will need rules to make sure she doesn’t fall back into any old habits, it’s not as if I would actually let her leave to get whatever shit she was on before. If it wasn’t for her brutal honestly I would think she was lying about being sober but if she has the guts to admit her discomfort about taking a bath to me, she’s not one to lie. She’s such a good girl. But to keep her so good she will need rules, I am the person who can give her those rules, who can take care of her!   
Looking around my apartment I know there isn’t much for a little girl like her to do but that’s why we need to sit down and talk, I need to know what she likes before I just start buying things with the usually useless money Vought keeps shoveling into my account. Coloring books and color pencils, legos, a tablet, are just a few things I can think of that maybe she would like to play with while I’m out. That intern is already out on another mission for things I need, I’ll be sending him right back out again once he returns.   
She doesn’t have much time left alone, I find myself looking at her again, another minute or so. I consider giving her an extra minute or two to enjoy that look on her face but as I watch she frowns. A sigh leaves those full lips and the most unexpected words come out, “Fucking prick.”  
I can hear it clear as day, I’m not sure if she’s talking to me or not but I feel myself tense. Of course she is talking about me, who else could she be talking about? I tense, confused on what I could have done to make her say such things after I gave her the privilege of bathing alone. Maybe I shouldn’t have left her, I hold myself back from marching in there and demanding why she would say such things. I take a deep breath and remind myself this will take awhile, she doesn’t know how to handle people taking care of her yet, she will learn, I will teach her! Though I am nervous now about what I will have to do, discipline is such a hard thing that I never thought I would have a problem with. I could murder everyone in this building and not feel a thing but for some reason the idea of disciplining her puts me on edge. I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want her to not like me.  
But I have to do this.   
With a deep breath I call to her, “It’s time to get out.” She shoots up out of the water, exposing herself to me without even knowing it. I bite my lip to keep myself from moaning at the sight of her beauty. Her petite figure does more to me than it should, her chest isn’t very large, each breast would fit in my hand easily. Her slim curves aren’t natural, I’m sure it’s more to do with starvation than God’s design, she would look delicious with a few pounds added on. It shouldn’t take long for me to get her to where she is meant to be, a healthy weight with a little extra for good measure, but even than she won’t be much compared to me. I force myself to speak again, “There is a towel sitting on the toilet, you can use that. I have some clothes for you out here when you are dried off. I’ll let you do it on your own for now.”  
She scrambles to find the towel and wrap it around herself. With rough hands she dries her chest than drags the towel down to wipe off each leg as if she is in a porno. My jaw is on the floor as she moves to her back and the full curve of her ass, just beautiful. She wraps up her hair and leaves it there for a moment before pulling it out to reveal her messy curls in all their glory. The towel is wrapped around her once again, she hesitates in the bathroom for a long moment until I call out to her again.  
“No need to be bashful love, I can see through everything,” I hope to ease her anxiety by making it know to her but from the way her arms tighten around herself and her eyes go wide, I don’t think it works. Her heart is racing as she peaks out of the bathroom into the kitchen in my direction. I give her my best smile, “How was your alone time?”   
“It was good, thank you. Can I have some clothes please?”   
For the briefest second I consider telling her no, as if I don’t have one of my T-shirts and boxers ready for her on the counter. But I stop myself, “Of course sweet girl. I have them right here,” I offer her the stack of clothes.  
“Can I change in the bathroom or do I have to do it out here?”  
“I will look away again if that helps.”  
She nods, “Yes please.”  
I have to stop myself from preening at her politeness, I turn around and stare into the kitchen as she shuffles around behind me. It only takes a moment and once she is done she lets me turn around. I want to hold her. I want to pick her up and never let her down, she is just too precious. She is swallowed up by my shirt, the sleeves reach her elbows and the hem reaches the middle of her thigh. The boxers aren’t even visible from underneath the shirt.   
“You look beautiful.”  
“Can I have pants or something?”  
That, I can easily say no to, “You don’t need them. You won’t be going anywhere, plus this is much more comfortable. I have a sweatshirt in the closet if you get chilly though.”  
She just sighs, “Okay.” Her eyes dart around nervously, unsure of what do to do with herself. I’m probably not helping by just continuing my staring but it’s so hard to stop. “Were we going to talk about something?”  
I shake my head to get myself to focus without much luck, “Yes, please take a seat right there, or would you prefer the couch?” The living room sounds better to me, our shoulders pressed together as we look over the rules together, as distracting as it would be I wouldn’t mind.  
“Right here is fine.”  
Of course. She hops up on to the stool on the other side of the island, keeping three feet of marble in between us. I could throw this island to the side so I can touch her again but walking around seems like the less dramatic option, I go with that. With my papers in hand, I step around and stand at her side to show her what I wrote out.  
“What are these?”  
“A few rules I’ve thought of, things I thought you might like, and a extra page for things you want.”  
She attempts to take them but I only hand her the blank sheet and a pen, “Things that I want?”  
“Yea, some snacks, things to distract you, anything like that. I have these next few days off but after that I will be out and about a lot so I want to make sure you can stay busy. First, lets take a look at these rules, these are just the ones I could think of on short notice, more will come as time goes on. Number one, as you know, is no cursing or talking back. I like your sharp tongue but there is a difference between fun teasing and attitude, there will be none of that. Number two, you are not allowed to leave without permission. Three, no excessive amounts of sugar and absolutely no caffeine. Four, no sharp objects or cooking. I will leave meals in the fridge for you that you can microwave or I will be here to feed you. Five, TV time is limited to an hour per day unless I say otherwise. Do you have any questions?”  
Natasha stares up at me, blinks, looks down at the counter before dropping her head to the slab of stone.  
As concerned as I am, I need to keep a firm response, “Do you understand?”  
She takes a deep breath before looking up at me, “Yes, I do understand.”  
“Good! Now I have a few questions for you!”  
“Okay.”  
“How about you tell me about yourself first? Likes, dislikes, favorite hobbies?”  
She scoffs, “I was high on the street, I loved shooting up and passing out or loosing my mind for a few days year after year. I hated when someone would try some stuff while I was so out of it I couldn’t walk straight. That’s how I learned to not trust sober dealers. The sober guys are the ones you need to worry about. And for hobbies, I mostly scavenged for neat things and places to sleep.”  
I purse my lips and do my best keep myself under control, she didn’t curse which is impressive, but she is still able to keep that sass that I adore. “So we will find some new hobbies!”  
“I guess we will have to.”  
And for the first time I hear the most amazing thing, she chuckles. It’s a forced and void of almost all genuine humor, but her lips stretch into a smile, showing her teeth and brightening my whole world. We stare at each other, chuckling at nothing in particular. Her fingers run though her curls as a yawn escapes her.  
“I got a head of myself didn’t I? You were supposed to get a nap before this. Whatever his name is won’t be back with lunch for a little while longer. Go rest for a bit.”   
“Where?”  
“On the couch or bed, whatever you prefer.”  
“Okay.” She stands and looks between the two unsure. With her face no longer distracting me I get my bearings and remember what I’m supposed to do. Fucking prick. It must have been a fluke, there is no way she was talking about me, right? Talking about me or not she broke a rule. But I hadn’t officially laid the rules out for her. Though I had told her before I brought her home, she should have known better. I need to make my decision now, once she falls asleep and I see her peaceful face again I won’t be able to bring myself to do it.   
“Natasha.”  
She turns to look at me, eyes wide with suspicion.   
“Come here.”  
She does, hands clenched at her side and jaw right, she still listen.  
“May I see your hand?”  
“What for?”  
I raise my brows at her, “Your hand.”  
Her small hand is weakly thrusted out in front of her into my own stretched out hand. I remove my gloves and take her hand in both of mine, feeling her rough palm against my softer ones. I memorize each line and bump, noting on her ring finger there are four lines instead of just three. With a gentle amount of force, gentle for me at least, I take that unique little finger and snap it. The digit is bending backwards at almost a 90 degree angle. I’m sure the sight of the mangled finger registers before the pain.  
She screams of course but I’m not done. I use one hand to hold her wrist still while my other snaps another, her pinky finger. The poor thing is wiggling helplessly in my grasp but I can’t just let her go without setting them. Her free hand is wailing on my arm but it feels like nothing more than gentle taps, her crying is breaking my heart but there needs to be punishments for when she breaks the rules. I take each finger again, standing each one up right, before reaching into the other bag I have on the counter for two finger splits the intern got for me.   
“Let me go!” She screams as she tugs away from me, fighting with all of her little might.   
With the sternest voice I can manage with her I snap back, “If you fight me on this I’m going to break your whole hand.”  
That gets her to stop, “Why are you doing this?”  
“Fucking prick,” I respond as I begin working on her fingers. I slip the foam lined split over her ring finger first, then a smaller one for her pinky, “I’m not going to ask who you were referring to cause it would just upset me. You are not allowed to curse. Ever. No mumbling them under your breath or cursing when you think I’m not around. I can hear everything. I can see everything. Always keep that in mind, do you understand?” I wrap medical tape around each split to keep it on before pushing that stuff aside to really look at her.   
“I thought you wanted to take care of me,” She mumbles out between sobs, cradling her damaged hand to her chest.  
“I am. I am setting boundaries for you and punishing you when appropriate. I won’t be as gentle on you next time.”  
My girl scoffs, “This is you being gentle?”  
I never expected her to be so ungrateful! I chuckle, “You do realize what I could do. I could break every single bone in your body, one at a time. And if you don’t listen like the good girl I know you can be, that’s exactly what I’m going to have to do.” My voice raises higher than I mean to and her heart is beating like crazy in her chest, she’s scared, good. “You aren’t afraid to die so I can’t use that to keep you in line but you are afraid to get hurt so that’s my only option.”  
“You could let me go and find someone who will listen!” She snarls back with a surprising amount of strength.  
“I don’t want anyone else! I only want you! You just need to listen! I’m not asking for much, just listen and let me take care of you. That’s all I want!” Why doesn’t she understand that? All I want is to give her all of my love and attention but she doesn’t get it! I will just have to try harder, give her more love and attention than she will be able to handle! “Give me your hand again.”  
She just glares.  
“I won’t break anything else as long as you listen.” With that she gives me her injured hand again, “I don’t want to hurt you and I promise I won’t hurt you without a reason.” I hold those two fingers to my lips and gently kiss the pain away. “So can you just be good for me?”  
“Or you could just get a dog.”  
My grip tightens on her hand, not enough to break anything else but enough to hurt, “You are the only thing I want sweet girl. Now are you going to listen or do I need to break another finger?”  
Her cheeks puff out, their pink hue slowly fading and her tear streaks are drying, “I’ll listen.”  
“That’s my good girl,” I pull her close, releasing her hand to cup her face with both hands. Her arms curl around herself in a attempt to protect herself from whatever she thinks I’m going to do. I stare down at her for a long moment before leading in and placing my lips of her forehead, taking a extra second to breath in her clean scent and to memorize the feeling of my lips against her skin.   
“Can I go lay down?” She mumbles softly. I pull away with a sigh, fresh tears are streaming down her face, breaking my heart in two.   
I brush some hair out of her face, “Of course sweet girl.” I take her good hand and lead her back towards the bedroom, feeling her hesitation but a gentle tug gets her going along. With little effort I pick her small frame up in one arm as I use the other to pull back the covers before tucking her gently underneath the heavy blanket. She curls up on her side, facing away from where I sit on the edge of the bed, I stand and walk to the other side. She turns away from me again. I don’t say anything, she’s mad about her first punishment in probably a long time, I should give her some space for a little while. So I walk away, I turn off the lights in the bathroom and the kitchen, and the living room until the room is just lit by the sun from outside. I walk back across the room to her, sure that those few minutes should be enough time for her to cool down but she’s still just laying there with her eyes open.   
I take off my boots and remove my cape so I can lay down on the other side of the bed. She’s facing the opposite direction so I just reach out a hand and being to gently rub her back in hopes of it soothing her racing heart. Instead she chokes out a whimper. The poor thing curls into a tight ball and begins to cry.  
“What’s wrong my girl?” I hum, scooting closer to her.  
“I’m fine,” Natasha lies as she scoots farther away from me.  
I grab her arm and pull her back, forcing her to lay flat on her back. Her arm comes up and covers her eyes but I see the deep frown on her face. I don’t like that at all. She’s crying. I take her arm away, holding both of her wrists in on hand while the other caresses her cheek. Her eyes are closed tight.  
I don’t understand. “What’s wrong?”  
“I’ll be good, please don’t do this to me. I won’t swear, I won’t be bad, please, please, don’t do this to me!”  
“Do what? I don’t know what you are talking about, stop crying and speak clearly please,” I coo to her as softly as I can.  
She huffs and heaves as she tries to catch her breath, “I don’t want to do anything with you.”  
I don’t know what I should be more offended by: that she doesn’t want to have sex with me or that she thinks I’m going to rape her.  
Against her obvious wishes I pull her into my arms and hold her in a tight embrace, “I’m not going to force myself on you. As much as I want you I am not going to do that to you.”  
“Then why did you crawl in bed with me?” Her breathing becomes more normal.  
“You looked like you needed some help falling asleep, I figured me rubbing your back would help.” I adjust us so I am lying on my back with her head is resting on my chest, one arm holding her to me, the other is drawing small circles on her back. “There, now get some rest, okay?”  
She sniffles, “You aren’t going to try anything?”  
“I promise.”  
“How can I believe that?”  
“I won’t ever lie to you Natasha,” Something pops into my head as the words come out of my mouth, something I am so stupid to not have mentioned earlier. “Rule number seven, you can never ever lie to me. The other rules I can forgive in seconds but lying, I don’t want you to ever see me that angry, understand?”  
“Yes.”  
I place another kiss on the top of her head, “Good girl.”  
……..  
We are there for two hours before someone came knocking a ruined the moment. She was finally asleep, curled up so nicely in my arms and her face, even slightly tear stained, looked so peaceful. I didn’t sleep at all, I took these quiet minutes to run my fingers over every inch of her face, tracing her lips, her eyes, the line of her nose. I was concerned at first, my obsession with this girl, my girl, has come out of nowhere and grown into a monster even faster but I have come to the realization this is the best out come that could have happened. It’s much better than my mommy obsession on that witch. This time I am in control. I will no longer be bending over backwards for someone who will never love me. Natasha will love me, maybe not right away but have no doubt she will love me, depend on me, be happy with just me.  
There’s the knock again.  
Natasha stirs, pulling away to sit up and get her bearings, “Who is that?”  
“It’s what’s-his-name, he has your lunch, or I guess almost dinner. He took longer than he was supposed to. You can stay here, I’m going to go talk to him.” I begrudgingly climb out of my bed and walk across the apartment to open one of the doors. The intern is there, a tall scraggly boy in a ill fitting suit and thick lensed glasses, “Took you long enough.”  
“I’m sorry Sir, I just had to explain to my supervisor where I was going,” He apologizes in a weak voice.  
“It’s fine, I have another list for you. If anyone asks what you are doing just tell them The Homelander sent you on a few errands and if they have a problem with it they can talk to me, okay?”  
He nods.   
I take the bags he offers, gives him my next list of demands and slam the door in his face. Natasha is sitting up in bed, still dazed from her nap, sweet thing. “Are you hungry?”  
She nods but doesn’t move towards me.  
Her hesitation to come anywhere near me is obvious, I’m sure it’s because of the broken fingers but we can get over that. I wave her over, “Time to eat sweet girl, I’m sure you are starving.” With that she climbs out of bed and shuffles over to me. I once again have her on a stool at the counter, I place the bowl of soup in front of her with a small amount of French bread and a sprite. She stares at it, then looks to me unsure. “You can eat!”  
So she does. She pecks at her food like a bird, taking small bites of her bread and sips her broth even slower. Sitting on the stool a foot away, I watch her munch away at her dinner, there is nothing else I could be doing right now, everything about her just mesmerizes me.  
She must have noticed this awhile ago, “Are you ever going to be done staring?”   
I shrug, “It’s only our first day together, I haven’t been able to watch you for long.”  
“If you continue to do it, you’ll grow bored of it.”  
“I don’t think that day will come anytime soon. You are welcome to stare back but I’ve been told I’m a master at staring contests.”  
She scoffs but says nothing, just continues munching.  
“What?” I find myself smiling as her face scrunches up in failed attempts to keep her mouth shut. “As I said, you can keep the snark, just keep it clean and respectful.”  
She turns to me, our knees brushing under the over hanging counter, “Have you ever wondered that you only win because people are afraid to keep eye contact with you for more than 30 seconds because you might burn out their eyes?”  
“That’s a fair point!” I’m grinning ear to ear. “Are you brave enough try it against me?”  
“Are you going to break another one of my fingers or melt my eyes if I win?”   
“Of course not, I like your eyes far too much to do such a thing!”  
She raises her brows and holds up her injured hand, “And my fingers?”  
“Will remains as they are as long as you are a good girl.”  
“Fine,” She agrees, “But if I win, I want something.”  
Anything, I respond in my mind, anything to keep you talking to me this playfully forever. “What?”  
“Something to take this pain away,” Natasha waves her hand in my face.  
“The pain is supposed to be a reminder that you disobeyed me. Taking away the pain would completely defeat the purpose of me doing it. Plus I don’t need you relapsing.”  
She rolls her eyes, “Nothing strong or permanent. Just some Advil to get me through today. This day has been traumatic enough without a constant ache in my hand. Please?”  
Oh my god she said the magic word, I should say yes. “How in the world has today been traumatic?”  
“Do I need to go through the whole list?”  
I nod, just wanting to hear her keep talking.  
“First, you butchered a cartel down from where I lived. You threatened to murder me, flew off and called the cops. Then you come back all smiley and kidnapped me. Forced me to take a bath in front of you, broke two of my fingers and…” She trails off as she reaches the present.  
“And now I have you all clean, dressed in fresh clothes and I am feeding you chicken noodle soup. I really am a monster, aren’t I?” Her words don’t hurt, I know I put her through a lot today but we just need to get pass these first few days and figure out our rhythm, once we do that, life will be smooth sailing. She just needed to learn how to appreciate what I do for her and learn how to love me.   
I’m sure we will figure it out in no time.  
“Fine,” I agree, “But if I win I want something too.”  
“What?”  
“A kiss,” Before she can whine about such a prize I tap my cheek, “Right here.”  
“Just a kiss on the cheek.”  
Just a kiss on the cheek. That wouldn’t be just anything. It would be the first sign of affection between us that she does herself, it would be a moment of pure bliss.  
“Yes.”  
She sighs as she thinks it over, rolling the idea around in her mind as she tips her head from side to side, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. “Okay.”  
“Every morning,” The perfect start to the day.  
“Wait, what?”  
“And every night,” The perfect end to the day.  
She gives me a cute glare, “Only once.”  
I pout in return, “But I want one everyday.”  
“Fine, but then I want medicine everyday until my hand heals.”  
I roll the idea of saying no around in my head, “Okay deal.”  
Her eyes light up, she slams her spoon down as she shifts in her seat to look at me fully, “Deal.”  
“Are we starting now?”   
“Figured we might as well.” She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment, I should probably take a moment to prepare myself for one of the most valuable challenge of my life, but I’m already starting without her. “Ready, set, go!” Those golden green eyes are wide open, only a foot and a half away from me, her mouth is set in a firm line, she wants to win this. Part of me wants to let her, she would looks so happy I’m sure, maybe even do a little happy dance after her victory. But that kiss is dangling in front of me and I don’t think I can turn it down.  
Our eyes are locked. Hers’ are obviously stressed from her dramatic start, eyelids slowly twitching, itching to meet in the middle to the eye a millisecond of rest. My girl doesn’t give in, it’s just unfortunate for her that my stare seems to make people uncomfortable. Even with my eyes on hers’ I see the way she twitches, how she shifts in her chair as if that can fix the hole my stare is burning into her. I’ve been staring at her for hours now, I don’t think she realized what this would do to me, her eyes scan over me with terribly hidden approval of my looks gives me more pleasure than it should.  
She is too precious.  
She blinks.  
I grin, “I win.”  
Natasha groans as she throws herself to the floor in cute attempt at a tantrum. “Oh my god, just kill me.”  
“I could never!” I gasp, she looks up at me unimpressed. “I would like my prize now.”  
“Best two out of three!”   
I hum as I roll the idea back and forth in my mind, “We can try again tomorrow.”  
“Tomorrow?” She pouts.  
“Yes. You’ll get another chance to win some medicine and I’ll have the chance to win my two kisses a day.”  
“Fine.”  
My cheeks begin hurting from smiling so much in one day, “Perfect. Now finish your food. I’ll give you the grand tour and we can talk a bit more.”  
“Am I allowed to ask you questions?” Natasha wonders after she takes another small bite of her bread.   
“Of course.”  
“Can I ask about the woman before me?”  
I chuckle, “You don’t hold back, do you? Going right for the big question in your head.”  
“I’ll take that as a no.”  
“Not a no, just not right now. Once we get to know each other a bit more, you can ask again.”  
“Okay, can I ask to leave?”  
“Of course!” Her brows go up, “I’m going to say no every single time but you can ask!” She deflates, pouring into her soup. “How about I ask some more questions?”  
“Sure.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me! Hope you enjoy the new chapter! Let me know in the comments!💕

Natasha POV  
It’s dark out before I know it. The afternoon hadn’t lagged as I was expecting it to, considering his grand tour consisted of just the apartment and not the entire Vaught building. My hope of escaping were dashed before they could even fully form into an outline of a plan. He continues to stare at me whenever he has the chance, his hand is always on me, making sure I don’t venture too far from him. Not that I could make it out the door without him catching me even if he was across the whole apartment. I’ve known this man for a evening and I’m quickly learning this super hero is nothing but a drama queen with a daddy complex.  
I roll my eyes.  
“What are you thinking about?”  
I look over at him, he is laying next to me in bed once again, propped on his side so he can continue his staring. I roll onto my side to face him, he likes when I look at him when we are talking. “Is this really going to be for forever?”  
“Why do you keep asking me this?” He scoffs.  
“Because I like knowing the chances for my survival.”  
Homelander sighs as he scoots closer to me, I let him, not that he would let me do anything else. He makes a point to take off his glove, his large hand comes to rest on my cheek, “I’m going to keep you forever.”  
A part of me breaks at his heartfelt promise, I’m going to be stuck here for however long this psycho thinks my forever is. I need to get out of here but I can’t right now, he doesn’t trust me to be left alone for more than five minutes. I’m sure he was watching me those whole five minutes I was in the bath actually.  
Fuck.  
“Well,” I gulp, “if I’m going to be here forever, I should probably call you something other than The Homelander.”  
His brows raise at that, “I guess I didn’t even think about that.”  
I return the action, genuinely surprised he didn’t whip out Daddy right away. “Really?”  
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed my sweet girl but I haven’t put much thought into any of this.”  
Now that he mentions it, I see it. He has had that intern running in circles all day after rounds of questioning, finding out what I like and things a woman needs to live an easy life. He always seems so sure of himself, so confident, I never once doubted if he knew what he was doing. This son of a bitch is literally winging a hardcore daddy kink without even knowing what he is doing! I wonder if he even knows that he’s doing it?  
Fuck!  
He suddenly rolls off the bed, he is quick to jump to his feet, his eyes are looking down but I can see a pink hue growing across his cheeks. “I’ll think about it!” Is all he says as he rushes away towards the bathroom. “I’m taking a quick shower before bed. I’ll be out in a minute, you just stay in bed, okay?”  
I just nod as he stomps around the bed to the bathroom, surprisingly closing the door behind him.  
I was not expecting that.  
The shower turns on. He is really doing this? Is he really trusting me that much already? Oh fuck, what if this is some kind of test to see if I can be left on my own for more than five seconds? I lay down flat on my back trying to figure out what I should do, should I run? This could be my only opportunity, he admitted he has no idea what he is doing, this could be a mistake on his part. A minute passes and the shower is still on. I need to do something at least! As quietly as possible, I slowly sit up in bed, thankful for the memory foam and lack of creaky springs. My feet make contact with the cool floor, I stay on my tip toes as I attempt to make it across the apartment without a noise. I’m manage to make it to the kitchen before I accidentally bump into one of the bar stools near the island, the metal bar meant as a foot rest clings against the dark wood of the island.  
Fuck. Fuckidee. Fuck. Fuck.  
A quick glance at the front door reminds me that it is locked. There’s no getting pass it without Homelander’s hand print. The shower is still on. Did he really not hear me? This is either a test or the luckiest day of my god damn life. I could test him myself, a quick way to see if he is even listening to me or if he is too deep in his own head in there. I find my way into the kitchen, I peek into a few cabinets for a glass and find one behind the third door to the left. With trembling hands I turn on the faucet and watch as the water slowly fills the glass half way before I turn it off.  
Nothing.  
My eyes go to the door again, I could try it.  
The thought passes through my mind as the light of the security pad on the door turns green the lock clicks. The luckiest day of my fucking life apparently.  
A pair of black heels come in first, stomping into the silent room like a herd of elephants. An older woman with curled locks and a red dress come in next, a scowl on her slowly aging face. She scans the room, finding me staring at her with wide eyes, her brows raise as she scans me completely.  
“I’m assuming these are for you?” She holds out a few more bags the intern must have gone out for, “I stopped Mr. Kenneth as he was panicking in the elevator to a floor he doesn’t have clearance to, to bring these things to The Homelander.”  
I’m not sure what to say, “Shut up.”  
“Excuse me?” She scoffs, “Where is Homelander?”  
“Shut up!” I hiss quietly, I take a few quiet steps towards her, ready to charge the bitch and push her out of the way to make my escape but she has to fucking ruin it!  
“Homelander!”  
The shower turns off.  
I take my steps back into the kitchen and take a big drink of water as the bathroom doors are ripped open. Homelander steps out with a cloud of steam and a towel wrapped around his waist. If I thought he looked crazy before I misspoke, now he looks insane. His hair isn’t neat, nothing about him is put together, he doesn’t even look like the same person.  
“Get the fuck out,” he snarls softly.  
The woman rolls her eyes, “Are you still upset that I asked you to go off the grid for awhile? You seem to be doing just fine on your first day off,” She eyes me distastefully.  
It takes all of myself control to not snap back at the bitch.  
“I was interested to see why you abducted one of the interns to run errands for you. I wasn’t expecting this,” The hag gestures to me again. “Did you at least take care of the junkie like I asked this morning?”  
My automatic reaction is to glare at Homelander for talking about me with her before her words fully sink in. Take care of the junkie. She is the person to who told him to take care of me. This probably isn’t what she meant but that’s what this sociopath heard, this is her fault. I take a step closer to her to bash this glass against her head but Homelander is a head of me, he is across the room before either of us can realize it, pinning the bitch to the now closed door.  
“I told you to get the fuck out,” His voice is just above a whisper but it’s still terrifying, I’m thankful it’s not directed at me.  
The woman drops the bags as she attempts to pull his hand away, failing to even budge the strongest man in the world. “Homelander,” She gasps, “I’ll go, I’ll go.”  
He pulls away just as quickly, she falls to the floor, gasping for air, “Then get off the floor and leave us alone.” Homelander reaches to the keypad next to the door, the lock clicks. She scrambles to her feet, leaving the bags on the floor and quickly slides out the door, slamming it hard behind her. There goes my luck. His eyes move to me next, softening the moment he finds me. It only takes four large strides for him to reach me, crowding me against the island, all naked and wet.  
Both my hands are trembling as I hold my glass, allowing him to fully scan over me before his eyes come back to my face. His hands cup my cheeks, “It’s okay sweet girl, that terrible woman is gone now. Did she do anything to you? Say anything terrible?”  
I just shake my head.  
“I’m so sorry I left you alone. That woman will never be near you again, okay? What are you doing out of bed?”  
I hold up my glass, “I was thirsty.”  
“You should have told me.”  
“You were in the shower, I didn’t want to bug you, I’m sorry,” I look down as if I actually feel guilty for my actions. He wants me to be a sad little girl, I can do that if it means I can get him to let me out of here.  
“That’s my fault. You can always come to me! No matter what I’m doing. Here,” he sets down my glass and scoops me up. “Let’s get you back in bed.”  
“It’s still early!” I point out as I attempt to scramble in his arms, his tight hold doesn’t give me much room to wiggle.  
He chuckles, “You need rest. You had a very busy day.”  
“But I want to talk!” The words are out of my mouth before I can even process it. Homelander stops in his tracks.  
“You want to keep talking to me?”  
I nod, “You never answered my question! And who was that woman? She seemed like a real-“ I cut myself off.  
“She’s a bitch.”  
“Good to know I’m still great at reading people. Who is she?”  
“She is the psycho woman in charge of the Seven.”  
I raise my brows at that, “She’s your boss and you almost choked her out? Aren’t you worried you are going to be in trouble?”  
“No one is my boss,” Homelander informs me as he sets me down on the bed, making sure to tuck me in. He sits on the edge of the bed, leaning over me with a smug smile, “You are the only person I am worried about, especially with the bitch wandering around. I’ll have to make sure I get her security number off the door. I’ll worry about that tomorrow though. Right now I need to go get dressed and make sure you get a proper nights sleep.”  
My eyes shift down, now realizing that he is indeed naked, his towel is still covering his modesty but that’s it. I have never seen more than this man’s bare hands, I don’t think much of the world has. His body is as amazing as I thought it would be, not that I put much thought into it, his arms flexed in his current position. Showing off his muscles, he really looks as if he could carry the world on his wide, well built shoulders. My hand comes up on its own, curious about two things, one, if he feels as strong as he looks, two, if he will actually let me touch him. The tips of my fingers graze over his collarbone to his shoulder, down his bicep to his forearm. I follow the veins of his forearm to the hand resting near my side.  
He is trembling. My eyes flick up to find him staring down at me, “I never got my prize.”  
“I thought you wanted it in the morning.”  
“And waste my one for today? I would never be so wasteful. My prize now.”  
“Am I the only one expected to have manners?”  
“I’m sorry,” A grin spreads across his face, “Please, may I have my prize?”  
I gulp, “I guess, go ahead,” I turn my head to give him my cheek. He surprises me with a chuckle, “What?”  
“I want as kiss from you.”  
Oh.  
"From me? Why?"  
"Because I won."  
All I can do is nod, knowing that's the best answer I am going to get from him. I move to sit up but he refuses to move an inch, "I can't do it from here."  
"I'll come to you," He does. He drops down on to his forearms, caging me in my spot. His fingers tangle in my stray curls spread out on the pillow, "I'm ready whenever you are."  
I don't think I'd ever be ready, but I can't say that. This whole moment is so surreal, I am once again transported to a reality where we are just lovers enjoying a intimate moment. I find my fingers dancing across his skin for a second time, this time his face. His complexion is perfect, there are crows feet slowly forming by his eyes but even that has it's charms. My hands rest on either side of his irritatingly, handsome face, there is a small amount a scruff near his jawline, prickly against my palms. I gently guide his face to the left before craning my neck up to place a soft kiss on his cheek, he inhales sharply.  
His arms suddenly fail him, dropping a solid slab of muscle on my chest, all of the air leaves my lungs. I feel his scruff rub against my neck as he readjusts himself on top of me. My arms are stretched out above my head, secure against the head board, our legs are tangled together, his towel lost on the floor. A sudden sense of panic washes over me, what the hell is he doing? I prepare myself to do anything and everything to get him off of me, but just as suddenly he stops, his face pressed against my throat.  
"You don't need to be scared right now," He mumbles into my skin. "I just want to be close to you, just take a deep breath."  
"I would be more comfortable if you were at least dressed."  
"And I would be more comfortable if you weren't. This way we are even."  
"I don't anything about this is even."  
"What makes you say that?"  
I scoff, "You are one of the most powerful people in the world."  
"I am, and?"  
"Are you looking for more compliments or an actual answer?"  
His chest vibrates against my stomach, his chuckle is deep and annoyingly comforting, "I'll go with a actual answer for now, save the compliments for later."  
"You said it yourself, you can break every bone in my body without even having to try. That's pretty scary."  
"Is that the only thing you think I would use my powers for?"  
“I mean fame and fortune first, causing me bodily harm second.”  
He glares up at me, “I would never!”  
I hold up our collapsed hands in response, ignoring the voice in my head telling me not to poke the bear. I expect him to lash out, to break another finger, or my arm, instead he shoves his face back into the crook of my neck.  
“It’s time for bed.”  
“Okay, can you please put some clothes on?”  
“Only if you agree to let me hold you.”  
Oh I get an option now?  
I hold my tongue, I just nod. He takes a deep breath before finally pulling away. My eyes follow his movements without thinking, he’s standing there in all his naked glory.  
Holy shit.  
The rest of him as perfect as I expected, all toned and muscular, not a single scar on this God’s body. Hanging in between his strong thighs is his just as impressive length. I divert my eyes but not fast enough, he catches me staring, his chest puffs with pride when he notices my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.  
“No need to be bashful Sweet girl,” Out of the corner of my eye I see him posing oh so elegantly. “You can look for as long as you would like.”  
“No thank you.”  
“Okay, you’ll change your mind.”  
I scoff, “Not anytime soon.”  
“I have all the time in the world.” With that he wandering into the bathroom, the door is left open wide, nothing hiding me from him this time.  
“Don’t you work? Events, press meeting, and stuff like that?”  
I hear him chuckling from the closet, “I do, why?”  
“I’m just curious how someone like you could have any kind of free time.”  
“Due to some problems I have the next few days off. After that I will be back to my busy schedule of saving the world.”  
“What will happen to me then?”  
He comes back out in an outfit matching my own, white t-shirt and briefs, though he fills it out much differently than I do. “You will be here, waiting so patiently for me to come home.”  
“You’re going to leave me here, all by myself, all day?” I do my best to hide the hope I feel. I must do a good job, he climbs back in bed with me, lying next to me this time.  
“Are you worried about being alone all day? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I come back in between meetings to check in on you, can’t have my sweet girl getting lonely.”  
"I've been by myself a lot, I think I can manage."  
Homelander sighs as he opens his arms to me expectantly, "We all think we handle loneliness well until suddenly we aren't." Without any other option I shuffle closer to the blond god, letting him move me where he likes once I'm within reach. We are in a similar position as we were this afternoon, my head on his chest, his arms securely around me, one hand drawing small circles on my back. As terrifying as this whole situation is, it feels nice.  
"Well you are finding great ways to cope."  
His laugh rumbles softly in his chest, "I couldn't agree more."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! Please let me know how you like it!💕

“No.”  
I look from Homelander to the intern, the blushing nerd couldn’t look up from his nice shoes to even look in Homelander’s direction. Without missing a beat, I slowly work on my breakfast, just scrambled eggs and some strawberries. The intern has brought in our breakfast 20 minutes ago and some unwanted information along with it.  
“As I remember, I was grounded. Being grounded means I’m not leaving my apartment unless absolutely necessary. Tell Madelyn to fuck off, okay?” Homelander snaps as he takes a step closer to the man.  
“She says that if you don’t come to her, she’ll come to you.”  
My brows are in my hairline as I look back to Homelander for his reaction to such a pathetic threat. He is not amused. Three more steps and he has the man cornered against the door.  
“She wouldn’t fucking dare,” he is seething, chest puffed with pride. His eyes begin to glow that terrifying red.  
I sigh, pitying the poor thing, “Can you please stop being so aggressive?”  
It’s like a flip switches in his mind, he turns to look at where I am sitting at the counter, eyes soft and concerned. “Is something wrong sweet girl?”  
“Kind of,” I grumble, “Are you going to make me eat all of my meals alone?”  
“Oh my god, of course not, I just need to deal with that witch first.”  
“Why don’t you just go see her and get it over with? She won’t stop sending him in here, so you might as well so this guy can stop interrupting us.” The hope on his face almost breaks my heart. I just need them out of here for five minutes so I can make a run for it, this Madelyn bitch is giving me a perfect out.   
Homelander sighs, “Fine, I’ll be up there in 30 minutes. Now leave so we can enjoy the rest of our breakfast in peace.”   
Kenneth, the intern, nods as he rushes out the door, something I’m aching to do but I can wait, only 30 more minutes. The blond god comes to the spot next to me, uncovering his pristine, white plate as he sits. Eggs and toast for him too, but he also gets bacon and sausage along with it. He begins eating it slowly, glancing up at me for a moment, then once again when he realizes I’m still staring at him, he stops.  
“Is something wrong?”  
“You have bacon.”  
“I do.”  
I give him my best pout, “Can I have some?”  
He hums as he thinks, “Not today. We wouldn’t want to upset your stomach, you probably aren’t used to eating this much.”  
“Okay,” I want to argue but I decide to hold my tongue. He’s in a good mood, I don’t want to fuck it up. I look back down at my breakfast, I work on my toast slowly, my stomach gurgles. It’s annoying how right he is.   
“Such a good girl,” He coos, he strokes me head so lovingly I could almost forget that he’s a sociopath. “Do you want to try your chance at medicine again?”  
“How about when you get back?”  
“That’ll be perfect! Now eat your breakfast sweet girl.”   
I obey, this could very well be my last meal for who knows how long. Homelander is watching me slightly less than yesterday, I can still feel his heated gaze but it’s not attempting to burn through me. This is the first time I’ve seen the god eat something, I was starting to think that he lived on nothing but praise and children’s tears but apparently not.   
I finish first, he finishes moment after, “Come on.” He pulls me away from the counter, through the apartment to the bathroom where I find myself guided to the bathtub, “Sit.” He leaves me on the thick ledge of the bath as he goes into the closet.   
“So, what’s the plan for today?” I wonder as if I actually plan on staying long enough for anything more than one last conversation.   
There is the sound of shuffling clothes for a moment before Homelander steps out in his uniform, his hair the only thing left to fix. “I will go talk to the witch and then I will come back and spend the day with you again.”  
“Sounds good,” I hum.   
“Really?” He wonders as he snaps the last button of his suit.   
I nod.  
“That’s wonderful! Do you want to do anything specific?”  
“Like what?”  
“Whatever you want! We could watch a movie? We could just sit down and talk more, I have so many questions to ask you still!”  
I nod again, ignoring the guilt building up in my stomach, “We could do both.”  
He rushes over to me, his gloved hands cup my cheeks, “You are such a good girl.” We stay like that for a moment, his thumbs gently caress my skin, our eyes lock in a less intense stare down than yesterday’s. My eyes shift down, the red and gold collar of his uniform draws all my attention. I find myself tracing his form again, my finger follows the red seam of his suit. It zig zags from the middle of his chest to his left shoulder and down, down, down, I stop myself at the golden belt at his hips. He shudders, bringing my focus back to his face, his eyes are closed, he falling slightly back. “My good girl,” He nearly moans.  
I pull my hand away, “You should be going. She’s probably waiting.”  
His lips curl back in a silent growl, “That witch has to ruin everything.”  
"Not everything," I interject, "She won't ruin the rest of the day." She's actually doing me a huge favor by getting you out of here, she'll be making my day if I can escape.   
"You are right," He leans down a places a kiss on the crown of my head. "I'm going to go, once I get back we can enjoy the rest of our day."  
"Can't wait."  
With that done he takes me by the hand and leads me through the apartment to the front door. He turns me to, kiss the back of my hand and sighs, "Are you going to be okay while I'm gone? It should only take a few minutes. The door will be locked so no one will be getting in here, okay?"  
I nod, "I'll be fine Homelander. It's only a few minutes."  
He doesn't look as if he believes a single word out of my mouth but he doesn't have much of a choice, either leave me alone or bring me along to see that bitch that neither one of us seems to like. Part of me is curious about that woman, she seemed so confident talking down to him yesterday and genuinely surprised when he zoomed across the room to choke her out. What is their history? I quickly shake that question out of my head, it's none of my business. I'm going to be out of here in a few minutes and this whole situation will be a thing of the past.   
Homelander gives me one more kiss on my forehead before finally leaving, the door latches shut behind him, I actually relax for the first time since I've been here. I turn on my heel and rush back into the bathroom to the closet. It's my first time actually being in here, it's as organized as I thought it would be. Built in shelves are stacked full of white t-shirts and grey sweatpants, there are drawers which I assume are full of underwear similar to what he lent me. To my right there are his suits, four neatly hung up but missing the accessory he is currently wearing, the belt. Grey sweatshirts are hung up neatly in a row next to it, this man really has no in between does he.  
I grab a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt and quickly pull them on. For my feet all I can find is a drawer packed with white socks, guess shoes are out of the question. If I didn't already know better I would assume from just his closet that this man is a sociopath. I double up on the over sized socks and make my way back to the door just in time for the key pad to switch green. Without hesitation, I throw myself behind the couch, fuck me. I expect to hear Homelander's confidently striding in to catch me, for him to tell me this was a test and I failed it terribly. Instead, the unlatching of the door is followed by a weak knocking on the heavy wood.   
"Hello? Miss?" A small voice calls out.  
I peek out from behind the couch and almost scream with excitement at the sight of the same terrified intern from this morning.   
"Miss?"   
"Is he gone?" I question as I scramble towards the door.  
He jumps back, "What?"  
"Is Homelander gone?"  
"Yes, that's why I came in, Ms. Stillwell wants you out of the building."  
I scoff, that bitch really is helping me out today, "That's perfect cause I want to get out. Could you point me in the direction of the exit?"  
"I'm supposed to escort you out."  
"Whatever the fuck works! Lead the way, just make sure we don't run into the fucking asshole. Oh my fucking god it feels so good to cuss. Fuck, shit, bitch!" I shake the stress out of my shoulders, this is really happening, I'm getting out!   
The man looks so uncomfortable but he nods and turns to lead me out of the apartment. The building is as sleek and modern as his apartment. His slow pace makes the anxiety in my chest tingle but I force myself to stay calm. He has no idea what he is doing, if I start acting suspicious he may start questioning, prolonging my time in this fucking place. Portraits line the halls, seven of them to be exact, each one stars a member of the Seven. Homelander's has me shuddering at the sight of it. We reach the elevator doors, he presses the button and we wait. I bounce on my toes as the elevator comes down from the higher floors. The elevator dings and the doors open.  
Inside is a pretty blonde in white and gold, it's Starlight. She gives us a bright smile when she spots us, “Good morning.” The blonde seems as sweet as the media portrayals her but I’m not quick to buy it.   
“Good morning,” the intern and I say in unison.   
“Going down?” We nod. She takes a step backwards so there is plenty of room for all of us. As casually as possible we join her and awkwardly stare at the doors as they close. She clears her throat, “Where are you coming from?” I can’t tell whether her question is really because of where we came from or because of my attire, both could be a factor.   
I look to my escort to give a proper response but he just fidgets under my stare, I roll my eyes, “We are coming from Homelander’s apartment.”  
Her brows shoot up to her hair line, “What? What were you doing there?”   
“I’m a friend of his,” I somewhat lie, “But I have an emergency at home and this young man is kind enough to escort me out.”  
“Without shoes?”  
Both of our eyes flash down to my bouncing feet, “I knew I forgot something! I must have been in such a rush that it slipped my mind.”  
“Oh, do you need to go back up for them?”  
“No!” I respond too quickly when I see her reaching for the button pannel, “I can just come back for them another time. I’m really in a rush.”  
Her brow scrunches in confusion, she opens her mouth to question me when the elevator dings once again. Without waiting for the intern to move I rush forward, ready to be out of this fucking building. Instead of a busy lobby and my freedom, I find myself smacking into a familiar smelling, leather wall. I’m staring down at a pair of red boot, my forehead resting against a blue leather like material and my hands clenched right at my sides.   
This can’t be happening.   
I stumble back without even looking up at him, I shove the intern at him as I repeatedly jab at the lobby button until the door closes. Surprisingly, it actually closes without an issue. I grip the hand rail to keep myself from falling over, a hand on my shoulder makes me jump.  
“Are you okay?” Starlight wonders.  
Fuck, I forgot she is in here. “I’m fine, just surprised.”  
“Don’t you know Homelander?”  
I chuckle, “Yea but I was hopping to make it out without him seeing me.”  
“Why?”  
“He’s… um…” The elevator stops. “He’s a little possessive?” Metal screeches above us, “Fuck. Can’t he just race us to the lobby? Why does he need to pull this shit?”  
“Is everything okay? What is going on?”  
“He’s being fucking dramatic!” I snark, ignoring the way I tremble, I come to grips with the situation I’ve gotten myself into. I’m going to die. He is going to rip me limb from limb, the least I can do is die swearing. There is a soft thud on the ceiling, followed by the harsh click of some kind of latch and the screeching of old hinges.  
Then I see him. He stares down at me from the escape hatch, covered in blood from god knows where, if didn’t know any better I would think he is sad. His head cocks to the side, lips slightly parted in a small frown, poor thing. His nostrils flare as he takes a few measured breaths before he joins us in the elevator. Starlight and I separate into opposite corners, of course he follows me, towering over me with his terrifying presence, yet he doesn’t say anything. We are only a foot a part, I crane my neck up to keep eye contact, refusing to submit to him again. A gloved hand comes reaches out to me. Even with a brave face I can’t help the way my body tenses at the small action.   
“Whose blood is that?” Starlight questions with a tremble in her voice.   
Homelander freezes, his head snaps in her direction, the sad look on his face is gone and replaced with one that is ready to murder. He turns on his heel and takes two confident strides to be in front of her, “What the fuck are you doing in here?” His terrifying smile reflects off the walls of the tin box. “Did Stillwell bring you in on this? Are you fucking stupid? As the leader of the Seven don’t you think it would be wise to not get on my bad side since you are so new to this? You are just asking to be sent back to whatever the hell you came from!”  
She just stands there and takes it of course, the Homelander is screaming in her face, covered in blood, this is the stuff of nightmares. The blonde’s eyes are wide with fear, her mouth opens to defend herself but nothing comes out. He crowds in on her closer, forcing her to curl in on herself.   
Fuck.  
“She has nothing to do with this!” I snap with a rough tug on his cape. He doesn’t budge but he feels it, he looks at me both surprised and angry. Starlight peeks at me, her eyes pleading for me to stop. I ignore her, “You’re pissed at me, you don’t need to take it out on her.”  
“Who did this than?” He asks, surprisingly calm.  
“It was me and that intern and your fucking bitch of a boss. Be mad at us!”  
He comes back to me, smirking at the sight of me being brave enough to still hold his cape like a god damn leash, “Oh sweet girl, I already dealt with that fucking bastard. I’ll deal with Stillwell another day, my main concern is getting you back home.”  
“Home?”  
“Of course. Now let me talk to little firelight or whatever for a minute then I can get you up stairs so we can have a talk about honesty.” He tries to turn his back on me, his eyes glowing their ominous red but with another tug of his cape he is back in my space, hand on either side of me, caging me against the wall.  
“I said it was me. Deal with me.”  
His eyes narrow for a moment, he looks from me to her and back again, “Did I miss something? Are you friends? Why do you care about what I do to her?”  
I shake my head, “I just don’t want to wait around here for you. Are you going to take care of me or not?”   
“Are you trying to piss me off?”  
“I’m trying to get you to stop wasting time! If you want to do something, do it!”  
He laughs, “Fine, lets go. Say goodbye to your friend.”  
"Wait!" Starlight yells, the petite blonde stands as tall as she can with a sad attempt at a brave face. Her eyes glow like headlights. "I don't know what's going on but I'm just going to let you take her."  
"Not going to let me?" Homelander raises his brows.  
"It's fine," I bud in. "I'm going on my own. Just mind your own business."  
"But-"  
"You heard her," He gives her a smug grin, "Mind your own business before I make you. I can cut you down before you could do your little magic trick so don't think of trying it again, understand firefly?"  
"Homelander," I tug on his cape again, fully earning his attention.   
"Yes, sweet girl, come here, lets get you back home." His sweet, playful tone is unexpected but I try not to think about it too much. I step into his space and I am quickly scooped up into his arms, he doesn't waste a second before taking off into the elevator shaft to whatever floor his apartment is on. He rips the doors open with ease, he doesn't bother landing, just zooms through the halls without a care for anyone else's safety.   
"You are gonna kill someone!" I point out with my arms wrapped securely around his neck. The god ignores me until we reach the door to his apartment, this is the only door he seems to have the mind to be gentle with. Once inside I’m placed on the ground, I stumble away from him, unsure of what he will do next.  
He stares at me expectantly, “Are you going to explain yourself?”  
“Explain myself?”  
“Yes!” He takes a second stride towards me , looking softer than before, “Where the hell do you think you were going? Did they let you out? Did they make you leave? You can tell me if they threatened you! I won’t let them do anything to you!”  
I can’t hold in my reaction. A laugh bubbles out of me, “You’re joking right? You really think they had to drag me out of here to get me out? The moment that door was opened I had that intern escorting me out. I went on my own.”  
His jaw clenches.  
“Speechless?” I hum, already knowing I’m dead. “I’m just being honest, you are the one who said honesty is the most important rule. You wouldn’t want me to lie, would you?”  
“Why are you acting like this?” The god mumbles so softly, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to respond. “Things were so good this morning. Everything was going to be perfect.” His eyes snap up to meet mine, “Why are you doing this?”  
I snap, “Because I don’t want to fucking be here! I know you have this fucked up delusion in your head that things would be sunshine and rainbows but that’s not how kidnapping works! I was fine where I was, I didn’t need anyone, especially you, to come save me! I don’t need you! I am just fine all by myself!”  
His chest heaves as he stares at me. He takes a step in my direction, “You don’t need me? All by yourself? How can you say that?” Another step. “You just don’t know, you’ve never had someone take care of you, you poor girl. Don’t worry, I’ll fix this, it’s just going to take some tough love.”   
“Why aren’t you listening? I will never want to be here!”  
Before I can even register it he has a grip around my throat, forcing me across the apartment and up against the wall near the bed. His other hand slams against the panel of the wall I’m pressed into. I wait, my heart pounding out of my chest, for whatever is to come, torture, my death, anything. The panel beeps, a latch releases and the panel flys open, revealing a secret room. He doesn’t give me any time, he shoves me into the room sending me tumbling on my ass.   
A cold metal floor catches me, “What the fuck?” I snarl at him, struggling to get on my feet.  
“You think you are just fine on your own until you experience real loneliness. I’ll come back when you feel like being a good girl.”  
The panel is slammed shut, plunging me into darkness. I rush to the door, scrambling for a job or something but I come up empty. “Homelander!” I scream, pounding on the door, “Let me out of here you sick fuck! Homelander!”   
Nothing.  
“You fucking asshole! Let me out!”  
He can’t be serious, he’s just teasing me right, he wouldn’t actually leave me in here for that long, right? I take a deep breath as I slump to the floor, what the hell.


	6. Chapter 6

I’m not sure how long has passed. I felt my way around the small room a few times now to map in out in my head. The room can’t be more than five by six feet, the cold metal covers every inch of this god damn cell, except for one of the walls that has six monitors on it. I found a toilet in the corner, making me figure this must be some kind of panic room that only Homelander can access. That or it’s a hostage room where he keeps the women he kidnaps, where the last woman like me died. 

I slam my head against the wall. Holy fucking shit, what the fuck did I get myself into? I sink to the floor, doing the math on how I could get out of here without dying, but nothing adds up. He can’t really leave me in here for long, can he?

_I can do whatever the fuck it want._

His voice rings in my ears. He’s the Homelander, of course he can. And all I can do is sit here and take it. Fine, if he wants to play this game, I can play it too. 

Being alone isn’t so bad. I’ve been on my own my whole life, I’ve starved for days, I’ve been reduced to drink water from ungodly places. At least it’s decently warm in here. My clothes don’t reek and there is a decent place to go to the bathroom. The only things I need now are food and light and this place would be a paradise.

I chuckle to myself, I can do this.

I make myself comfortable in one of the corners, I curl into a ball with my back pressed firmly into the wall, making sure that bastard can’t sneak up on me. My arms wrap around me, offering the only comfort I’ll be getting for probably the rest of my life. Closing my eyes my head drops back to rest against the wall, my mind drifts to other places without anything to focus on. An unwanted memory is the first thing to pop into my head of course. I’m back in my childhood bedroom, crouched in the closet hoping no one will find me. The memory is vividly clear, the crack underneath that door that would never fully latched, the small amount of light allowed me to see the few clothes hanging above me. I feel as if I could reach out and touch them. But I kept my hands tucked by my sides and hold on tighter, I can’t let them find me. 

I pinch myself. 

It’s been at most half of a day and I’m already digging into old trauma I don’t want to deal with. It’s all my father’s fault, I decide. If he hadn’t been a dick my whole childhood I wouldn’t have ended up on the streets, if I wouldn’t have ended up on the streets I wouldn’t be here right now. I would be normal. I would have a job and maybe my own apartment by now, I would be so much better. But I’ve never been given a fair hand in life and I shouldn’t expect anything from it other than to fuck me over. This is a whole other level of fucked up though. What makes it worse is that this is one of the better set ups I’ve had. This apartment is nothing like that dump I grew up in but a small room with no light and no food is something I’m very familiar with. No one can get me here though, the only person who can, put me in here so I doubt he’ll be busting in anytime soon. He wants me to reflect and become a _good girl._When is this dude going to realize I’m not what he is looking for? I’m sure there are thousands of women that would love to be dotted on by him. 

_I don’t want anyone else! I want you!_

Sure he does. 

He is a sociopath with a God complex, he isn’t capable of any kind of emotion. All he wants is to convince me that he is as great and amazing as the rest of the world thinks he is and after that I will be tossed away because I will have become what he hates. People that want him to save them. I shake my head, he doesn’t make any sense. Even with all of the conversations we had since I’ve been here I really don’t know much about him.

One thing I do know about him is that he _hates _that lady. I discard my previous thoughts of minding my own business this morning, I want nothing to do with my own baggage so I’ll focus on his. That lady seems so confident with the way she treats him, like she knows she can get away with anything. His reaction yesterday made it very clear he’s not afraid to go after her, he didn’t kill her or break any of her bones but she looked surprised, and terrified. I can’t help but chuckle to myself, condescending bitch got what she deserved. But what’s their relationship? She can be at most 15 years older than him, maybe they dated?

Impossible.

Homelander doesn’t seem like the type to date normally. Well, I consider, maybe that lady isn’t anymore normal than he is. It would explain why she was so quick to get rid of me, they must have ended on bad terms. It seems like a pretty fresh wound, am I his rebound or something?

I need to focus on something else, anything else, his baggage is giving me another wave of anxiety that I don’t need. But there isn’t anything else to distract me right now. All I have is the pain in my hand, my childhood trauma, and Homelander to focus on. That’s one thing I’m going to have to get used to, the silence of this cell. Without the background noise of the city, all I can hear is the pounding of blood in my ears. I never thought I would miss the sound of shuffling feet and traffic throughout the whole day. I’m used to a lot of things but silence isn’t one of them, being alone sure, I’ve spent more time on my own than anyone my age should but there has always been something going on, someone talking. 

This is something new. 

I find myself wondering why he chose this as my punishment. He could have broken my hand, done any of the other sick things in his head, but he decided to leave me alone. _You think you are fine on your own until you experience real loneliness. _Sounded as if he was speaking from his own experiences but how can someone like him understand that. He’s the Homelander. People would kill for his attention, for just a moment of his time, he must have been talking out his ass. 

But you can’t be surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel alone, can you?

I shake my head, no, no, Homelander has no idea what really loneliness is like! To have every person in your life fuck you over in every single way possible and still have the fucking audacity to come back asking for more. Fuck him!

I bury hold the heels on my hands to my eyes, willing away the tears that I know are coming. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This isn’t supposed to be happening! I really thought that I was done, that I had settled whatever karma I inflicted on myself in a past life and I was free to just live my life but apparently not. Who the fuck did I kill in my past life to deserve the shitty life I have?

* * *

Homelander POV

It’s only been a day. She’s been curled up into a ball on the floor for most of the time. I had watched her wander the room at first, figured out her surroundings quickly and made herself comfortable. Her heart rate has been going up and down, the only thing out of her mouth has been a curse here and there. I sit on the other side of the wall watching her just to make sure she doesn’t try hurting herself. She is cradling her injured hand gently to her chest, it must still be hurting.

I don’t like the feeling that settles in my chest. It’s not one I’ve felt many times but I know it, guilt. I want to rip the door open and give her all of my love but I hold myself back. She needs this, she needs to learn that she can’t run from me, she needs to learn that she needs me! 

When I saw her in the elevator, so ready to run away from me I don’t know what came over me. All I saw was red. How could she just leave me? 

_It’s that bitch’s fault!_ My hands curl into tight fists, how could I have been so stupid? Madelyn distracted me so she could kick Natasha out, if I hadn’t left none of this would have happened. We would probably be curled up in bed right now, or cuddled up on the couch watching whatever she wants while I just hold her. I find myself leaning against the wall, slowly finding my way to the ground, laying on my side so I can watch her. She is curled up so perfectly, I could wrap myself around her and keep the whole world away from her. I’m the only one she needs. She’ll realize that soon enough.

But patiences has never been my strong suit. 

* * *

Natasha’s POV

It’s been awhile. I don’t know exactly how long but I’m hungry and I can’t convince myself to sleep anymore but I continue to lay there with my eyes closed. Staring into the darkness does something to my mind. This whole place is messing with me, I begin to understand Homelander’s reasoning behind locking me in here. Despite everything that has happened in the last few days I wouldn’t mind seeing his smile. 

Gross.

He must be hiding his ability to read minds from the world, it’s as if just the thought of him summons him to me. The door opens and he is standing there holding a tray. I thankfully picked the far war to sleep against, so we are face to face when he comes in. He doesn’t seem as put together as he usually is, his hair is ruffled more as if he has been running his hand through it there are bags forming under his eyes. He looks stressed. Am I the reason why? That idea is quickly shaken off, he wouldn’t damage his looks because of me. We are matching once again, sweatpants and t-shirt, he pulls it off much better than I do. What the fuck is wrong with me? These thoughts need to stop. It’s obvious he’s good looking I don’t need to keep pointing it out to myself! My brain disagrees, it feels the need to scan over him fully, appreciating the way the light of the apartment outlines his hulking figure that is taking up most of the doorway. 

The light. 

I look past him, not even thinking to take this opportunity to see what time of day it is. Sun is pouring in from the windows, that seems to be the only light in the apartment. There isn’t any noise coming in from outside or anything playing inside. Is he just sitting in the dark? Did he just get home? Can I please think of anything other than him for five second? Fuck! It’s hard to when he is all that I can see right now. 

He takes a step into the room, lays the tray down and backs away to the doorway. On the tray there is the same meal from my first day here, chicken broth and a small piece of bread. A large cup of water is next to it, without a care I snatch it up and down as much of it as I can before Homelander is there taking it away from me. I had managed to drink most of it thankfully, I look away from the man with a bit of embarrassment about my desperation. He’s going to be mad, he is probably expecting a thank you first or maybe his prize from our bet days ago, but he doesn’t lash out at me. It’s weird having someone look at me the way he does. There is a small smile on his face as he wipes the corner of my mouth with his thumb, getting rid of the few drops that missed my mouth. 

“You need to drink slowly otherwise you’ll get a stomachache,” He informs me as he sets the cup back down on to the tray. His voice is music to my ears, barely above a whisper but it echos off the walls. It drives me insane how his words offer me any kind of comfort, he’s the reason I’m in here, that I haven’t heard anything for what feels like forever. “Have some of the broth,” Bare hands bring the soup bowl up, one hand has a spoon scooping up a bit of the broth and puts it to my lips. Look on his face is so soft I almost feel guilty, almost. My anger hits a boiling point, does he really think he can just lock me in here then come back in like everything is fine? 

“I don’t need you to fucking feed me," I snarl, looking away towards the corner. It’s weird hearing my voice, I don’t sound like myself. 

He drops the spoon into the bowl, taking a deep breath he uses his free hand to grab my chin and forces me to look at him. "Do you want to fucking eat or not?"

"Fuck you."

The soup goes back on to the tray, he picks it up before turning around and slaming the door shut again, leaving me in the dark still starving. I shouldn't have done that. My stomach groans. Nausua washes over me, I'm such an idiot. I want to bang my head against the wall as regret settles in my empty stomach, all I had to do was sit there and let him feed me but my pride got in the way. 

Fuck me.

I rub my face, taking deep measured breaths so I don’t freak out. It’s fine, it’s fine, he will be back. I just need to make sure I don’t curse at him again, I need something to eat. I need out of here before I go insane and from my reaction to Homelander I don’t think I have much time left. No one talks to The Homelander like that and lives to tell the tale, what the fuck is wrong with me? 

* * *

I'm not ready for the next time he comes in. It feels as if weeks have gone by but I'm sure it has only been a few days. The door pops open, waking me from my hazy nap, and blinding me as light pours in. He steps into the doorway less confident than last time but he still manages to look intimidating in full uniform. With a deep breath he sets the tray down in front of me, bending down enough for me to look past him to the apartment for just a moment. The room that was beyond neat how ever many days ago, is now in a state of disarray that is unbecoming of the worlds greatest hero. The couch is lying on its' back, the chairs in the living room are out of place. What attracts my attention the most is the bundle of bedding that is on the floor in front of the panic room door. 

He stands up straight, our eyes lock for just a moment before I look down at the plate. Eggs, toast, and strawberries are there, looking absolutely delicious. I feel tempted to just go for the water again but I hold myself back and look back up at him. He's staring, of course, he attempts to give me, what I am sure is supposed to be, a soft smile but it only comes across as slightly terrifying and maybe a little charming.

"Good morning," His voice is music to my ears. So soft, as if he is speaking to a frightened animal.

_Morning_, it's morning, the tray in front of me makes sense now. Another day has past and I wonder how many I've missed and will continue to do so._That depends on how I act right now_, I remind myself. I could throw a fit again but all that would get me is the door slammed in my face and it's not as if he's done something awful, just brought me breakfast. It's actually kind of sweet of him. 

"Morning," I offer in return, his widening smile tells me I've made the right decision. Like before my voice is rough, a lack of use and water will do that to you I guess. But it feels nice to talk, to hear his voice and have mine heard.

He chuckles as he runs his hand through his ruffled hair, "Wow, I wasn't expecting an actual response."

I cock my head, "What were you expecting?"

"Nothing," Homelander seems almost giddy, "Never mind that, I'm just happy to hear your voice."

I answer without thinking, “And I’m happy to hear yours.”

His eyes light up like the Fourth of July, “Really?”

“Yea,” I consider lying but he wouldn’t like that. 

“Are you hungry?” The man asks as if he can’t hear my stomach growl. 

“Starving.”

Neither of us move. I don’t know if I’m allowed to feed myself after last time. He notices my hesitation and chuckles again as he joins me on the floor, sitting cross legged on the other side of the tray. With trembling hands he uses a fork to scoop up a small amount of scrambled eggs into my mouth. Even though part of me burns with embarrassment I let him feed me, if this is all it takes for me to get some food I can deal with it. The moment the food touches my tongue I can’t help but moan.

“Good?”

I nod eagerly, scooting as close as I can for another bite. He obliges to my request and feeds me three more bites before pausing. My eyes go from the plate to him and back again, confused why he stopped. _Did I do something wrong? _Panic manages to fill me to the brim within that ten second pause. I fucked up. He's going to slam the door and leave me in the dark again! I don't want to be alone!

He calms my anxiety with a simple question, “Do you want a bite of the strawberries?”

I should have some form of self control but it goes out the window at the offer, “Yes please!” I should know better, he wouldn't leave without me giving him a reason.

He smiles to himself as he offers me the brightly colored fruit, as I lean forward he eagerly shoves it in my mouth. It has been forever since I’ve had something like this. Fresh food isn’t something I stumble upon regularly, fresh fruit even less. I close my lips around the fork, I could scream with joy at the taste. Homelander pulls the fork away slowly, his eyes fixated on my mouth as my lips move. His breathing stops for a moment when my tongue darts out to clean my lips. I sigh, beyond satisfied with just that but I remember there is more on the plate. Ready for more I open my mouth wide and even say _ah. _

He drops the fork. I’ve never thought about what he would look like when he was scared but the image will be engraved in my brain. His eyes are wide, he takes a sharp intake of breath before stumbling to his feet and back into the doorway. 

Where is he going?

"Wait!" 

"Stay right there," He commands in a voice that is not to be questioned.

I obey, grounded in my spot.

He takes a deep breath, "I am going to leave this door open for 15 minutes. You are going to eat your breakfast then put the tray in the doorway, do understand?"

I want to ask why, what could I have done wrong to make him act like this but I don't, "I understand."

"Good girl. I'll be right out here, you won't try anything will you?"

"No."

With my promise he rushes out of the room. I should be happy. I can eat on my own like the adult that I am but I find myself hesitating. He gave me 15 minutes to eat, I remind myself, I need to eat. My trembling hand reaches for the fork, slowly scooping up food to feed myself. I keep at the pace he had been feeding me, taking a break here and there to take small gulps of water. The toast is soggy but I can't get myself to care, thankful to have anything in my stomach right now. I clean the plate in less than 15 minutes, making sure to finish my water too. On my hands and knees, I shove the tray into the doorway like he told me before sitting back on my heels. During my isolation I haven't walked around since the first day. My legs feels so heavy and tired from just that much, I don't even think I could run if I tried, not that I would. I couldn't get very far even if I was at my full strength.

I shake my head. Thoughts like that are what got me in here, there is no way I could ever get away from Homelander, I can't believe I was stupid enough to try. I can do what he asks of me, I can be good if means getting out of here. 

Homelander appears in the doorway again. He picks up the tray and reaches out for the door to close it, "Homelander!" He pauses and gives me a hard look I don't think I deserve, under his stare I can't get myself to question why he is doing what he is doing. It could get him even more upset and I don't want to push my luck. "Are you working today? You're in uniform," I point out stupidly.

He nods, "I'll be gone all day."

"Oh," My genuine disappointment shows on my face before looking down into my lap, I'll be in here alone all day again. 

"I'll be back for dinner."

My head pops, "Really?"

"Yes, I'll bring you your favorite as long as you don't cause any trouble while I'm away."

"I won't! I promise!" I know I should be more shameful, that I shouldn't be begging this man for anything but is literally the light in my life right now and I'm tired to being in the dark.

"Okay," I see a small smile on his face as he turns away, "Be good."

"I will."

* * *

Only one of us keeps our promise. I wait, confused on whether time is passing this slow or if he forgot about me, both are likely. Against my better judgement I sue this time to think about what I could have done wrong to make him so mad that he would just storm off, it must have been something. Maybe I'm too much. I was pretty vicious in the beginning, I didn't want to listen and complained a lot, now he's just going to leave me here. I kind of deserve it after all of that. I mean I tried to run away after all he did for me. New clothes, good food, and a bath, I really need all of that. I'm going to need it again if I'm ever let out,_ if he ever comes back._

Throughout my life there have been a lot of people who have left me so I don't know why I have this burning feeling in my chest when it comes to Homelander. My parents were okay when I was growing up, well at first at least. Mom left first, she found someone that made her feel the way my dad couldn't, that's what she told me on her way out the door with her duffle bag in hand. Her leaving didn't hurt at first. Telling my dad is what made it feel real. Explaining where she went when dad got home went as well as a person could expect. He called me a liar at first, followed by a few other slurs that I don't even like repeating in my own mind. But when she didn't come back he realized I was telling the truth. 

I wasn't mad she didn't take me with her until dad started drinking. The first year wasn’t bad, a few bad decisions for him here and there. The following two years are what made my childhood hell. He was the carbon copy of those drunk dads you see in TV shows, stumbing around and knocking everything over. If I was lucky I would find him at the table with the bottle still in his hand, the smell of cheap whiskey in the air. If I wasn't lucky, I was in trouble. 

_I was snacking on some saltine cracker packets I took from school. Dad didn't go the grocery store anymore so school was the only place that fed me at all. It was getting close to my bed time, not that anyone was actually going to enforce it, keeping my schedule from before mom left was the only thing that kept me sane. Bed was at nine, it was 8:30 when I heard the tell tale sign of heavy foot steps on the stairs. _

_How is he still awake? The man had been drunk since I snuck in after school, he would usually be passed out by now. It was one of those bad nights. I scrambled off my bed to the window and barely managed to get the thing open before my door hand began rattling. _

_Fuck!_

_The lock couldn’t hold him back forever. The drop to the ground from my second story window is too far for my body to brace without something to cushion the landing. I rush to the closet, yanking the door open and closing it as quietly as possible. I’m settled in the corner of the closet by the time he managed to get the door open. His foot steps stumbled in, cursing up a storm._

_“Where the fuck is that little bitch?” He would scream as he ransacked my private space. “Come out here!” Dad’s feet shuffled across the room, “She fucking ran away again! That ungrateful bitch!” _

_I trembled there, crouched in the closet nothing but my arms around me to offer comfort. My few clothes hanging there were still swaying from my entrance, brushing the tip of my bun. I just needed to be quiet, I should have done better, I should have jumped out that window. Better dead on the sidewalk than waiting for him to find me. _

_His stomping got closer until he’s standing on the other side of the door. His boots casted shadows under the door. The door is tugged open, his silhouette in the doorway._

_“Found you.” A hand tangled in my hair, yanking me out of the closet and holds me on my knees. I screamed, gripping his hands, attempting and failing to pry the man off of me. "You trying to hide from me? You are such and ungrateful bitch! Just like your fucking mother! All I fucking do you you and this is how you repay me? You should be praising me for not leaving you like that bitch did!" He swung me around by my hair as he yells. _

_All I could do was cry. Broken apologize were tumbling out of the mouth but none of them were coherent. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."_

_"You aren't fucking sorry!"_

_"I am! Please, let me go, I'm so sorry! I'll be good! I'll be good!"_

_He scoffs, "You aren't good for anything!"_

_"Daddy! I'm sorry! Daddy!"_

"Natasha!" I'm not being shaken anymore. I'm being held by two strong arms, a firm hand guiding my head to rest on a solid chest. If I thought his voice sounded heavenly, his hugs are from a whole another world. The last time I received such genuine affection was before mom left and even then I don't know if she truly meant it. His hand strokes my head, calming my crazy curls. "It's okay sweet girl. Daddy is right here, I've got you."

I should push away, this is what he has been waiting for, he did this to me. But I don't. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling myself deeper into his embrace. He has got me. No one is going to get me in here. My dad can't get me anymore. This apartment is safe, this room is safe, with Homelander is the safest place I could possibly be. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Homelander get comfortable

Homelander POV

"Fucking move."

It's been over 24 hours since I last laid eyes on my girl. She was so perfect yesterday morning, it almost felt like a dream for her to be that responsive. It took less time than I thought for her to start wanting to actually see me. She could be faking it again but after she escaped I've been pay extra close attention to her expressions and as far as I can see they seem genuine. When she is in the room alone she mostly just lays there but the moment I open that door she perks up. Hopefully she won't be upset with me for being gone so long. 

"Homelander! Are you even listening to me anymore? You have a team to lead!" That fucking witch screeches at me. 

I need to fucking kill her.

"I have been listening to you bitch since yesterday morning. I am going to my apartment, if you step in my way again I am going to throw you out of the fucking window, do you understand me?" I snarl in her face, stepping into her space to get my point across. 

She tries to not act afraid, "You don't need to sleep so I don't see why you need to go back. Is that tramp still there?"

My body reacts on it's own, I feel my eyes glowing, "Watch that mouth of yours." The only thing keeping me from offing this bitch right now is that fact it will take too much time to deal with it. That's valuable time I could be with Natasha. 

"Fine, but I'm coming to check on you in a bit. We have more things to discuss."

"If you so much as knock on my door within the next 24 hours I will stuff that disgusting baby of yours back where it came from." I give her my best threatening smile before walking around her and out of the door. I try to control myself but I end up basically flying through the halls to get to my door. The moment I'm outside I know something is wrong. I can hear her heart beat, it's going much faster than usual, her breathing is quick too. I look through the door to where the safe room is, shes in there curled up into a tight ball rocking back and forth. The door main door unlocks with a click, I'm at the next within a blink, popping that door open and rushing inside. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Pours out of her mouth in barley made out blubbers. Her fingers are tangled in her curls as if something is in there. "Daddy! I'm sorry! Daddy!" That's it. I snatch her up into my arms, holding her as much for myself as it is for her. I guide her head to rest on my chest, calming myself, hoping my steady heart beat will do the same for her. 

"It's okay sweet girl. Daddy is right here, I've got you," The words are out without me even thinking but it just feels so right. I rock her there, mumbling kind words into hair. Her arms curl around my neck, securing herself around me with her legs wrapping around my waist. It's a wonderful feeling to have her there, not a single centimeter in between us. 

"I'm sorry, please don't leave me again. I'll be good, I promise! Please don't leave!"

I shush her, "I'm not going anywhere. I didn't mean to be gone for so long, I'm sorry baby. You must be starving since I couldn't bring you dinner. Would you like some breakfast?"

She shakes her head," No thank you." So polite, I could groan with pleasure at the sweetness in her voice. "Could I just stay right here?"

Her grip on me tightens.

"For as long as you want," I promise as I kiss the top of her head. "But we should move to somewhere more comfortable."

"If we have to," She mumbles. She begins to move away from me.

"Oh no sweet girl, you don't need to do anything. Just keep holding on," And she does as I stand us up and carry her out of that room. The apartment is in a state of disarray right now and I want nothing more than to clean everything up back to it's pristine condition but for now, my sweet girl is my main concern. Picking up the comforter off the floor I carry us to the bed where I rest up against the head board, her straddling my lap. I pull the covers over her, she seems to welcome the extra warmth and cuddles in closer. 

I haven't been exactly sure on what I wanted from this, the perfect picture never appeared in my head but this is it now. Natasha so desperate for attention that she picks me over her basic needs, food and water forgotten just for me to hold her. _Just. _It's never _just _anything with her. My whole life was spent in a cold box until I was good enough to come out, I know what that isolation can do to you. I didn't want her to have to experience the same coldness that I felt but if this is the outcome, I can get over my guilt of putting her through it. She just needed time to realize that she doesn't have to do it all on her own, I'm here for her now. All she needs to do is be happy with me. 

........

Natasha POV

I somehow managed to fall asleep. After one of my most intense panic attacks in the last year I managed to not injure myself, that's a feat on its own. The fact that I was able to calm down sober is another. Flashbacks like that happen far and in between and usually what drove me back to the needle. Out of habit I rub the inner side of my arm without thinking, forcing me to realize there is no longer anyone held in my embrace. Homelander is gone.

I scramble around, attempting to get my bearings and figure out where even am I anymore. I don’t want to be back in that room! Where is Homelander? Where is he? He promised me he wouldn’t leave again! He promised!

“Homelander!” I cry, unable to stop tears from streaming down my face, panic already gripping my chest.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m right here,” Bare hands cup my face, soft lips press against my forehead. “Daddy’s got you.”

There that word is again. He had said in the room as he held me, _daddy is right here. _It doesn’t necessarily sound wrong coming from him, it almost seems like an insult at first. My dad was never like this, I don’t know if he was even capable of such gentle actions.

My hands reach out for him, finding his hands on my jaw, following his arms to his chest. His suit is slick under my fingers, he’s in uniform, I realize. I’m sure he looks so handsome, I want to see him but it’s too dark. Where are we? I’m on my knees on something soft, I’m basically sinking into it. It’s the bed. I’m in the apartment, but why can’t I see anything.

Homelander must sense my panic like he always does, “Open your eyes sweet girl.”

I do.

The room is too bright for me. All I can see is his face for a moment in all of his glory. It feels as if I am seeing him for the first time, his lips form a brilliant smile that literally blinds me. I lean forward, resting my head on his chest with my hands, closing my eyes to go back into the darkness for a moment knowing this time that I am not in that room. I’m safe right next to him.

“Is something wrong?” He wonders, his arms wrap around me like a weighted blanket, grounding me in this moment.

“Too bright.”

He tsks, “Of course baby, I’m so sorry! Close the blinds!” He commands, followed by the soft patter of foot steps across the floor. There is someone else in here. “You can all go.” There are multiple people in here apparently. I wait to hear the door close before attempting to move at all. “You can look now if you want.”

With a deep breath I obey, opening my eyes, staring at his chest. My hands are there, I can feel the steady beat of his heart beneath my right head. I look up, finding him staring at me, of course, his eyes are so blue and so soft. Crinkling at the sides as he smile widens.

“You’re staring,” He informs me smugly.

“Well,” I hum in return, “You gave me permission to look as much as I like.”

He chuckles, “That I did! My girl is so smart!” His face comes closer, our foreheads pressed together for just a second before he pulls away. “Oh yes! I mustn’t forget you need some breakfast. Come on,” he gently tugs me off the bed, both of us expecting my legs to catch me but when they don’t, Homelander does. “Woah there, is something wrong?”

“I haven’t been walking since I’ve been in there. It’ll just take me a minute to get going.”

He doesn’t wait, he just scoops me up with ease, “We will have to add that to our to do list today.”

“To do list?”

“Yes! First on that list is to get you something to eat, we will go from there depending on how you are feeling.”

I just nod as he carries me through the apartment to the kitchen where he places me on one of the stools. Much like my first day there, there is a sliver plate cover sitting in front of me and another in front of him. He takes the stool next me, making sure to scoot it closer so our arms are touching. His warmth soaks through my sweatshirt, I attempt to get closer, barely shuffling my chair despite my efforts.

“Need some help?” Homelander questions, as if he can’t see my struggle. He does like to tease.

“Yes please.”

He gets rid of any space between us, our chairs bumping together as each of us adjusts, it’s silly I know, I just want to be closer. This need is a foreign feeling, it sits in my chest like a little monster, taking control of my appendages and moving me without my consent. I know better than this. He is the one who put me in that fucking box, I shouldn’t be sitting here with him, basking in his attention. _It’s either here or back in that box._ _Yes he put me in there but I deserved it for how I was acting. Be good._ The voice in my head is all mine but those words are not.What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Hello in there?” A gloved hand goes in front of my face for a moment, “Aren’t you hungry?”

That’s when it hits me, my eyes shift down to the now uncovered plate in front of me. There are scrambled eggs, toast, strawberries and even bacon. From the way he smiles I’m sure I’m beaming myself. I reach for my fork but pull my hand back right away, shifting my eyes back up to him for permission.

“Go ahead!” He urges me, waiting for me to pick up my own fork before going for his. I scoop up a few pieces of eggs and shove them into my mouth eagerly. A moan escapes me without realizing it until Homelander starts chuckling, “Good?”

I nod as I shovel another bite into my mouth.

“Don’t eat too fast sweet girl, don’t want to upset your stomach.”

With a bit of self control I force myself to slow down, chewing slower and making sure I’m done with what’s in my mouth before getting more. He watches me eat, eyes fixated on my mouth, just like last time. That thought makes me freeze. I shouldn’t question it, and I know that but I can’t move past it.

I place my fork back on my plate as I look up at him, “Homelander?”

“Yes?” He mimics my actions.

“Can I ask you a question, or two?”

“You can ask, I can’t guarantee I will answer.”

I could have guessed that but I push my worries away, “Why did you start acting weird last time you brought me food?”

He hesitates, chewing on his bottom lip as he tosses around possible answers in his head, “I was exercising restraint.”

“Exercising restraint? What were you restraining yourself from?” I think back to that room, to that moment, nothing was happening that could have made him mad. Did I do something rude? I was saying please and thank you, I made it clear I was grateful for the food, I obeyed and opened my mouth… “Oh.”

“Yes,” Even just thinking back to the moment has him adjusting himself in his suit. He got hard, a bashful glance down allows me to see that he is hard _now._ I should be absolutely disgusted. What kind of grown man gets excited from just seeing a girl open her mouth for food? But Homelander has made it pretty clear he doesn’t get girls often, at least he doesn’t bring them home to do it often. And he must have a high libido being super everything, he has also made it very clear that he is attracted to me, even told me he wants me, it makes sense. I’m sure his stamina is unrelenting, he could probably go for hours, hell he could probably go for days.

My thighs press together at just the thought. It’s been far too long since I’ve had a good round or two, I don’t need this on my mind. I need to get adjusted to my living situation before I get into bed with him. _Before?_ I shouldn’t be getting in bed with him at all! This is insane, I should be thinking of my next escape! I need to get my head straight! My hands come up to my head in fists, knocking myself in the head a few times hoping to knock some sense into myself. A few hard hits should get me back.

He catches my hands, “Woah, woah, woah, there sweet girl. What’s wrong?” He brings my hand to rest on his chest, flattening them out so I can feel his suit on my finger tips. My head follows behind, “I’m right here, you are okay, no one is going to hurt you. Tell me what's wrong sweet girl."

I shouldn't say anything, I should lie and say everything is fine but my mouth starts moving on it's own, "I'm so confused."

"Confused? About what?"

"Part of me wants to run," I admit against my better judgement. 

He tenses, "What?"

"You put me in that box. You broke my hand. You are the bad guy. I should want to leave but then you do things like this and I feel guilty for even considering it. If any other man saw me when I was so vunrble they would have taken advantage of the opprotunity, but you, you closed the door and calmed down. It's common decentcy so why do I feel like I should be thanking you. I want to be mad, reeally but there is a voice in my head telling me to be grateful because you are right, I did need help because if that had happened to me on the street I would have gone back to the needle. I just don't know what's going on in my head cause I don't want you to be right!" By now tears are streaming down my cheeks and I'm sure everything coming out of my mouth is being turnered into blubbering. 

I expect him to be mad, he should be mad at me for being so ungrateful but instead he reaches out and pulls me in close for the second time this morning. He shushes me so softly and sweetly it makes my guilt burn deeper. 

"Aren't you mad?" I cry into his chest, wrapping my arms around him as if I didn't just hurl insult after insult at him. 

He kisses the top of my head, "I'm absolutly fumming. But not at you my sweet girl, it's not your fault. You just never learned how to accept love from someone so I understand this is going to be hard for you to get use to. I can be patient. Thank you for being so honest with me, I'm sure it was hard for you." He places a few more kisses on my head, whispering praise in between each one, "You are such a good girl."

It shouldn't feel this good to hear that. I'm sure it's from deep rooted parental issues but that doesn't change anything, my heart flutters in my chest in such a warm embrace, "Thank you," I mumble softly.

"For what?" 

"For not taking advantage of me. I don't think I would have been able to stop you."

"The first time we decide to do anything like that, you will be wanting it, not a moment before, do you understand?"

I nod. 

"Daddy's got you."

I pull away for a moment to look at him properly, "You shouldn't call yourself that."

He cocks his head, eyes narrowing slightly, "Why not?"

"You are nothing like my dad, it's honestly an insult to yourself to even assosiacte with that man. He was a-" I barely catch myself, I cover my mouth to keep the word from slipping out.

"He was bastard," He finishes for me.

"Yea."

"Well, I shall change the definition of that word for you. I will wash away all of those bad memories and make sure you understand what a daddy really is."

"Okay."

"Now, finish your breakfast and then we need to get you in the bath again."

"Okay," I finally let him go so I can return to my food, stopping again to ask a question, "Do you have to work today? You are still wearing your uniform."

"No, I am all done for the next 24 hours. You have my full attention all day."

"Can I ask you another question?" 

He chuckles, "At least take a few bite of your food first." I obey, eating a few bites of eggs, and a whole bacon slice. I look up at him to see if he is satisfied, the smile on his face tells me he is. "Your question?"

"You said you were going to come back yesterday for dinner, but you didn't, why?"

"Stillwell had me jumping through hoops all night until I finally put my foot down at left. I'm sorry I was gone for so long, are you upset with me?"

I shake my head, "No, but of course it was that bitch's fault." As oon as the word i out of my mouth my eyes widen in a panic as my hand slaps over my mouth. "I'm so sorry! it just slipped out!"

"It's okay, I'll let it slide because it is her, she is a bitch."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"You don't need to be tense. Now finish your food so we can get you cleaned up." We eat in silence, only exchanging sly looks here and there, it's almost weird how normal I feel with him. With a few words he wiped my conflicting feeling away, his offer to change the definition of that word is in my head as both a threat and promise that I don't know if I should be looking forward to. When we are both done, he scoops me back up in his arms to carry me to the bathroom where he gives me a moment of privacy to take care of my business. He comes back in, turning on the bath water as he goes, moving to the closet next only to come back with a small shower caddy filled with bottles. 

“What is that?” I ask from where he has me perched on the bathroom vanity. 

“Well you were,” He hesitates, “thinking about your behavior I got the proper hair supplies for you curls. Can’t have them getting ruined under my watch.” I chuckle to myself, confused on how such a narcissistic can be so considerate at the same time. He add scent less bubble soap to the water, moving around the bathroom like he’s done this a thousand times. Realizing that my eyes are following him, he gives me explanation without me even asking for it, “I’ve been preparing myself for when you were ready to listen. When I couldn’t be focused on my work and I couldn’t do anything with you, I got ready for you. Did my research on what you would need, things we could do together, everything. It was the only thing that kept me from burning this world to the ground.”

I raise my brows at that.

“Now that I’ve taken care of you, that’s all I want to do. I could watch you just lay there for hours and be more satisfied than I have been my whole life. I did do exactly that.”

I think back to him bringing me out of that box, the next of blankets on the floor, “You laid with me,” I realize.

He nods, “It would have been perfect if that wall wasn’t in the way. It’s as if you knew how to match my position perfectly, if I shifted, you shifted, if I scooted closer, you cuddled closer to the wall.” He takes a deep breath as he remembers it so fondly. I wish I could think of it the same way. I don’t want to think of it at all, I need to focus on something else, anything else. “The tub is just about full, do you want to climb in?”

“Yea, could you turn around, please?”

Homelander all but preens at my polite tone, “Of course, how can I say no when you ask so kindly?” He obliges me and turns to look out into the apartment. I pull off the sweatshirt and t-shirt I’ve been wearing for far too long before daring to remove my pants. I consider asking Homelander for help but that’s too much too soon, this I can do on my own even if it’s a little difficult. Using my balance I manage to shimmy my pants down, throwing them into the forming pile of stinking clothes. With that done, I work towards the hard part, actually getting into the bath without collapsing. “Do you need help?” He asks, reading my mind once again, how does he do that?

“I’m still feeling shy,” I tell him as he turns around, I cross my legs and cover my chest, expecting him to take full advantage. But of course I am wrong, his eyes are closed tight, he shuffles closer, his arms out looking for me. “You can see through your eyelids, can’t you?”

“Only when I want to. Do you not trust me?”

I sigh, reaching out for his hand, “I trust you. Can you give me your other hand?” He offers me his whole self, becoming my personal arm rail for a moment.

“I could just carry you.”

“I need to be able to walk, I can’t have you carrying me around everywhere.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“But I would. I need at least a small part of my independence Homelander.”

That forces him to give in, “Of course, my sweet girl. Now don’t slip when you get up.”

I slip off the counter, barely catching myself on his arm, but I manage not to fall. I feel like a new born deer with the way my legs tremble. A chuckle escapes me as I take my first few steps.

“What is so funny?” He wonders with a matching smile.

“I’m so happy you have your eyes closed, this is embarrassing enough by myself, I’m thankful to not also have an audience.”

“You are making me regret closing my eyes.”

“Don’t you dare go back on your promise!” I warn, stopping to look up at him. We are standing toe to toe, only a couple more steps to the tub but I take this moment to stare, without him staring back.

He is quiet for a moment, his head shifts down as if he is staring right at me, he takes a deep breath in and smiles, “Are you enjoying the view?”

I scoff, “I’m just taking a break.”

“You are doing such a good job,” The arm I had been holding comes to wrap around me in a tight hug. His hand doesn’t wander, it finds it’s place on my waist and that is all before pulling away. “Okay, you can finish.” So I do. I shuffle on wobbly legs until I reach the step up, I push off Homelander to get a big enough boost to move myself up. I throw a leg into he tub, the rest of me follows quickly behind, splashing slightly. His eyes snap open and his eyebrows are in his hair line, “Making a mess are we?”

“It was an accident.”

He chuckles, “Sure it was. Now do you want me to wash you up first or last?”

“First or last?”

“Yes, you aren’t the only one who needs to clean up. I am getting in the shower, would you like to clean up now or after?”

I toss the idea around in my head, “After.”

“Alright, you enjoy your soak for a while,” He turns away for a moment, “Just to let you know, you don’t have to look away if you don’t want to.” The last word out of his mouth is followed by the very obvious sound of the top button of his suit popping open. My eyes suddenly find the ceiling incredibly interesting. He just chuckles as he continues taking off his suit, making it very obvious that he is taking his sweet time and putting on show. He’s trying to set a mood and I will not fall for it, we are taking baby steps into this whole thing. As tempting as it might be, don’t look, I’m going to sign myself up for so much more trouble even trying to catch a glance. I don’t need a glance, I already know what it looks like, my curiosity should be beyond satisfied but it’s not, my eyes start to move down from the ceiling.

I’m saved by the bell, there is a knock on the door. My eyes move to the apartment, then to a very pissed off Homelander. Any playfulness is ripped away, in it’s place is a glare I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. There is no way I can make it to the door to keep whosever on the other side from having their eyes melted by lasers, they are absolutely fucked. He snaps his buttons back in place and charges out of the bathroom and zooms to the door. I hear the lock click and the door open, I expect screams or something but there are just whispers for a moment.

“I want to see her,” A soft voice snarls, sounding as scary as I’m sure it can manage.

Homelander all but growls in return, “This is none of your fucking business firefly.”

It’s Starlight! What the hell is she doing here? Is she trying to die?

“You keep saying that she’s in here,” The stupid girl continues, “But I haven’t seen a trace of her this building. What did you do with her Homelander?”

“Keep those hands where I can see them!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, “Homelander, don’t do anything to her!” I shouldn’t have done that. _I shouldn’t have done that._It’s already too late, “I’m fine Starlight, you can go!”

There is the sound of shuffling feet, Starlight is suddenly standing in the bathroom doorway, her eyes wide with surprise but I see the worry there. Her eyes scan over me, well what she can see of me sticking out of the tub, which consists of my head and my arms that are resting on the edge. She takes two more steps toward me before Homelander cuts her off, blocking me from her view.

“As you can see, she is perfectly fine. Now get the fuck out before I make you,” I can only imagine the menacing look on his face that has the female hero taking a step back.

“Don’t be such a grump,” I attempt to sound playful but we can all hear how my voice trembles. I reach out just enough to grab the hem of his cape, just like last time I tug on it. “I was in a good mood, don’t ruin it with causing a scene.”

He looks back at me, eyes as soft as ever, pleading with me, “_She_ is the one who is ruining everything! No one else is supposed to be here, it’s just you and me.”

“And it will be. Starlight was just coming to check on me, to make sure I’m okay, that’s really nice of her actually,” I try to reason with him, keeping my own eyes wide with innocences. “Now that she knows I’m okay, she’ll be heading out, right Starlight?” I look past him, “Right?”

She is staring at me, obviously confused but I don’t know how to explain this to her with him here, “Are you really okay?”

I nod, “We just had breakfast and now it’s time for a much needed bath, so if you don’t mind,” I wave her towards the door. “You can stop by another time when Homelander didn’t just get off work. He is crabby when he first gets back.”

“She can?” Homelander scoffs, but with a firm tug on his cape he is focused back on me.

“She can,” I reassure. “I’ll be here for a long time right? It’s only fair that I meet your teammates. But like I said, _not right now._”

She finally gets the hint and nods along with me, “I’m sorry for intruding. I’ll get out of your way, I will see you around, um-“

“Natasha,” I offer.

“Natasha,” Her smile is so small I barely see it as she turns and rushes out of the apartment.

“I don’t like her,” He informs me, coming to sit at the edge of the tub.

“Why not? You should want us to become friends, it will give me another reason to stay here.”

He leans over me, his head cocked to the side, “I want to be your only reason for even existing. I don’t need her help.”

“Even God needs help sometimes.” I remind him, feeling much too brave.

With a deep breath he pulls away, considering my words, “We will see.”


End file.
